My sometimes blog

and some more......

2009-01-26T16:11:00.003-07:00

Its been a while

2009-01-26T15:51:00.005-07:00

Here are some pictures and video of Christmas and New Years. Sorry the video is so dark, but my brother is playing the guitar he got his son for Christmas.

My New Ride

2008-11-02T10:55:00.002-07:00

I got a new car! Well an almost new car. It is a 2007 Ford Focus and I LOVE it.

Just for some background, so you can understand why I am so excited, you must know that I have never owned anything that was less than 10 years old. I have always bought very used vehicles that I could pay cash for and drive away. This is the first time I have actually signed a loan for a car. It was daunting. But it gets 37 miles per gallon which compared to the truck I was driving that got 17 mpg, it is a huge improvement.

In other news, Kiri got her driver's license and is very upset that I bought myself a new car, but didn't buy her one. Then she was even angrier when I just looked at her and laughed. She will be turning 17 soon, which seems all weird and disjointed. Where did my little kir-monster go? She is talking about moving out, and I'm seriously thinking about letting her.

Comment directed toward ignorant fucking bigots who write Letters to the Editor in the local Paper

2008-10-09T23:00:00.002-06:00

NOTE TO SELF: Replying to the idiots who comment on opinion pieces in the local newspaper will only make you REALLY angry. And it will force you to face the fact that most of the people in your community are ignorant hicks.

Horse Play

2008-10-05T21:27:00.004-06:00

I just washed my hair and now I have horse goobers in it.

Feeling her oats

Hopefully I did this right. I've never uploaded a video before.

This is my crazy horse. It was our first cool fall day and it had rained some. My horse was acting like a looney as she enjoyed a break from the heat.

Kendall was there getting wood (hahahahahaha) and burning garbage because I guess that's the cowboy way. Not my way, but I've always been a somewhat uncoventional country girl.

Please God, take my uterus

2008-10-03T22:00:00.002-06:00

I hate my periods! Without getting too graphic, let me just say that when I'm on my period, I wish to rip my uterus out of my body. The pain, the cramps, the fatigue, the crankiness, the heavy heavy flow. If I believed in a God, I would ask him to make me menopausal NOW! I will take hot flashes and vaginal dryness over what I have now.
I gave birth to my daughter at 20 years of age. At the time, I asked my doctor to tie my tubes. He wouldn't do it. I swore to him that I would not want another child, and yet he still would not do it. I was too young, he said. I might change my mind, he said. I said fuck you, you piece of shit, tie the damn tubes. But no. Now I'm wishing I would've asked him to take the whole kit and kaboodle. I don't need it anymore. I am now 37, and I'm still absolutely sure I will never want to get pregnant again. If I could get rid of the periods, it would be a double bonus. A jackpot, if you will.
Today at work, I looked like a zombie. A very angry, angry zombie. I'm sure the visitors were impressed.
So, if you believe in a deity of some sort, ask him, her, or it to take my uterus. I offer it to them as a bloody sacrifice. I don't even ask for anything in return. Just take it. It's got to be worth something spiritually speaking.

Conflicted

2008-09-29T00:57:00.002-06:00

I went backpacking on Friday night with a bunch of young college kids. They kicked my ass on the trail. I was definitely the old lady of the group.
We went on the East side of Zion, and it was very pretty. I have some pretty nice gear, but the sleeping pads they make for backpackers are for shit. I know I could get something comfy-er, but that would add like 10 extra pounds on my pack and take up too much room. But you'd think that if we can put people in a space shuttle and take them to the moon, we could make a lightweight yet soft and comfy sleeping pad for backpackers. I swear my hips were aching within an hour of laying there. Then I had strange dreams that Kiri had brought home two dogs and I was worrying about how to take care of all the animals.
The next morning I woke up and found that a mouse or a squirrel had chewed on the sucky tube on my camel pack that I had JUST purchased last week. Damn rodents.
Oh, the funniest part was when I woke up in the middle of the night and I had to pee. I crawled out of my tent and walked what I thought was a good distance from the campsite. I didn't bring a headlamp, so I thought I was peeing next to a big black rock. I was mid-stream, when the rock started to snore. I was totally urinating next to one of the college kids tents. I felt kind of stupid, but I also had to chuckle.
On the way back to the trailhead, we saw 6 bighorn sheep. That was awesome.
I stopped on the way home and bought a 32 oz Mt. Dew and some Cheetos. Then I went to Becca's house and gorged myself on veggies and dip.
It was a pretty good weekend.

I'm a Super Star

2008-09-15T17:44:00.004-06:00

I look kinda scared in the top photo. But hey! Free Beer!

The above pictures are of my two wonderful cats. The all black one is Bella (Kiri named her after the girl in the Twilight series). And the black and white one is Furball (I didn't name him really. When I got him, they said his name was Verbal, but I thought they said Furball, and that is unfortunately the name he comes to). I am sleep deprived and have no make-up, so don't look at me, look at the kitty cuteness.

I got an award at work today. It's called a Star Award. Cuz I'm a Star. That's right, you heard me. A STAR. And it came with a good chunk of moola. Made me feel good, as I haven't gotten an award in a while. It made me feel like this year of hell was actually worth it, and people realize that I do a darn good job. I love my job, and I'm proud of what I do.

So anyway, I'll feel like a star for about a day, then it will be back to the grindstone.

My smoke and tack wagon bit the dust. The red explorer is now scrap metal. So, I now have nothing to smoke in nor haul my horse tack in. I'm debating on what to buy. I would LOVE a motorcycle, but I can't drive it in the winter. I will probably get some kind of small car. I looked at Mini-Coopers, but damn they're expensive. No way that will happen. Maybe a little honda or toyota.

Just like X-Files

2008-09-09T21:34:00.002-06:00

I just watched the pilot of the tv show "Fringe". It was good. I liked it. I also could predict just about every plot line, but then I'm a huge geek and watch way too much sci-fi for my own good. It reminded me a lot of X-files. Or twilight zone. But all in all quite enjoyable.
I have to go back to work tomorrow after 7 days off. I don't feel ready. I didn't do any of the projects I had assigned for myself during this mini vaycay. Oh, well. I enjoyed the down time. I watched a lot of movies and tv on dvd. I re-read the Fellowship of the Ring, and will start on the Two Towers next. I usually read the trilogy every year, cuz again Big Geek.
When I scheduled my time off from work, everyone asked me what I was going to do, and if I was going anywhere fun. It made me feel a little silly taking time off to read and watch movies. Like it was a waste of good vacation time. But I don't have the funds to travel over seas, so this, in my mind is the next best thing.
So, raise your glass to all of the hermits in the world, and the Big Geeks. We prove that you don't have to go to Mexico to have a fabulous vacation.

remember me, the crazy lady?

2008-09-09T02:18:00.002-06:00

So, I guess I'm back. I had to do something so that last post wasn't the last you ever heard of me. Things are better. Not great but better. I don't drink so much anymore, though I still haven't kicked the smoking habit. There is always such good excuses to keep on puffing.
I moved into a new little house, which I adore. Now if my teenager would just pick up after herself, I would invite friends over more often. But I'm tired of being a maid to my child. I had a child solely for the purpose to fetch and carry for me and force her to do menial tasks. But alas, it is I that fetches, carries, cleans, cooks, shops and provides endless entertainment for the teen. It's just not right. I did all those things for my parents and I have earned the servitude of my child for at least 18 years. Such is life.
That reminds me of a quote from a tv show I have been watching lately. The show is "Weeds" and the main character, the suburban queen of bud, has just told her dealer that something wasn't fair. The dealer turns and says "fare is what you pay to get on the bus. That's the only fare I know of."
I have also been watching "Dexter", "Battlestar Galactica", "Tudors" and "MXC" all thanks to the magic that is netflix. I got rid of my satellite dish and now just watch DVD's when I am bored. I LOVE IT!
Well, I hope all you bloggers and friends have a good night. It's 2 a.m. and I need a smoke.
Love ya.

My so called life

2007-10-17T21:02:00.000-06:00

I will be honest with you all. I am drunk. At this very moment I am drunk-blogging. So, take it or leave it, the things that will follow are heavily influenced by alcohol.
I am totally fucked up. I am a fuck up. Anyone who knows me knows what a totaly loser I am.
I haven't filed for divorce yet, even though I do not love my husband. He is a shit, and I should hate him. Instead I feel this fucked up sense of obligation to the man I spent the last 13 years with. I don't want to hurt anyone, so instead I just drag things on until they implode.
I drink too much. I smoke too much. My daughter hates me. My mom has cancer. I just want to cry.
I wish.....I wish I were different. I wish I were as strong as I thought I was. I am weak. I am a coward. Sometimes, when I am not numb or drunk, I hate myself. I can't sleep, or eat, or do anything productive. What the hell use am I, anyway?
Sorry. I also apologize too much.
Nevermind. I'm just drunk.

Upside Down and Backwards

2007-08-03T23:04:00.000-06:00

I have been debating whether to post about what is happening in my life, but as I can't sleep anymore EVER, I decided what the hell. Post God damn it. So. I turned 36 on July 27th, and I left my husband almost 2 months ago. I will be 36 and divorced twice. Single mom again. But in reality, I have always been a single mom. I accept my failings in that department. I never let my husband really be a Dad to Kiri, but then he never tried very hard anyway.
Fuck.
Okay, I'm done talking about that.
Lets talk about funny, possibly gay Italian men visiting my Park and wanting me to be in their strange topless and oiled picture (they were topless and oiled, I was strictly following uniform standards and kept my shirt on). These incredibly funny, good looking Italian men were at the top of our road, and I happened to be getting off of a hike when they were taking pictures of themselves. They immediately accosted me to be in one of their pictures, and I relented. I talked with them for a good half hour and enjoyed every minute of it. A different funny German tourist took our picture and these guys were hugging me like I was their sister. I say sister because I do believe they were gay, or I just couldn't believe anyone, even strange Italian men, would flirt with my 36 year old self. They had rented a red 2007 Mustang for their vacation and were debating with me as to whether or not they could get to Bryce Canyon in 1 hour instead of the requisite 2. I had a great time.
And again a happy happy birthday to MissuzJ. You rock. I love you.
Now it is time to lay sleepless in my bed again. Goodnight.

Super Cool!!!!

2007-06-27T18:53:00.000-06:00

How cool is this shit??!!! I found this lil beauty in the service road at work. I watched him for about 20 minutes as he ate this squirrel, but he started to get pissy about me hanging around. I was afraid he would regurgitate his meal, so I left him to his dinner in peace. Fucking wicked cool! I can't quit talking about it. I was just...well....COOL!

Roughin' it

2007-04-21T17:47:00.000-06:00

I'm enjoying my one day off this week. Doin nuthin. That's right, nothing. No laundry, no dishes, no cooking, no cleaning, nothing. It's sweet heaven.
I went to Boise for a week last month to learn how to "listen". Really to learn how to help someone work through a traumatic situation, like some fatality in the Park. I had to do a lot of role playing, and lead discussions of fictitious events, then get critiqued afterward. One of the criticisms I received was whenever I would begin to speak I would make a soft clicking sound first. A vocal tick much like saying "uh". So, I started paying more attention to the way I speak, and it is true. I click. Especially when I'm nervous. I'm a clicker. Kodi the clicker, that's me. Very humbling.

I then went to Fruita, Colorado in mid April, and am now, officially, a Tread Lightly Master Trainer! So, if you wish to learn how to Tread Lightly, I'm your master.

Next, I get to lead a Leave No Trace Master Educator course for a week. This involves backpacking for 4 days. Ah, hiking in 80 degree weather with a 45 lb pack, cooking dehydrated meals, peeing in the sage brush, drinking and eating sand, crawling into a bivy tent, slipping into your lightweight sleeping bag smelling like sweaty girl, and sleeping on a one inch pad. Only to wake up and repeat. God I love backpacking!!!!!!! Who seriously wouldn't? Makes me feel more alive than anything else in this world.

I'll try and post pictures of my backpack when I return.

Boot scootin boogie

2007-03-02T17:02:00.000-07:00

I was at Becca's house the other night singing CMT karaoke revolution, and she totally rocked that song "Boot Scootin Boogie". I am constantly amazed at how great a singer that girl is.
So, hmmmmm. What's been going on for the last 3 months? Work, Kiri shit, Husband shit, and yet even more work.
Kiri is absofucking driving me crazy lately. She thinks she can do whatever she likes, and when I try to ground her, she just ignores it and still does whatever she likes. EVERY morning is a fight to get her ready for school. I usually drive her the couple blocks to school as it is on my way out to work, but she is always late. When I tell her to hurry, she yells "Shut up" or "I KNOW!!!!" and that pisses me off, so I yell back, and then I end up running late for work and in a foul mood. God, teen girls are beyond aggravating.
I'm heading to Boise, Idaho this month for training. I'll be gone for a week. Then I'll be gone for a week the beginning of April for a conference, THEN I'll be backpacking for a week at the end of April. All this should be fun and exciting, but all I can think of is "What the hell will my daughter be doing while I'm away?" She has no respect for Kendall, so thats no help. I don't know what to do with her. I'm completely drained, and feel like saying "go ahead and fuck your life up". But of course I can't say that, so hence the stress and worry.
Maybe I'm stressing too much. I mean she's not pregnant, and I don't think she's on drugs, and her grades are excellent. But what if I let my guard down, and she gets pregnant and becomes a meth addict? What then?
So, that's my life. Riding herd on a 15 year old brilliant beautiful strong-willed stubborn girl. Lord help me.

2006-12-04T12:16:00.000-07:00

This is my little granddaughter, Lexie She came to visit after Thanksgiving. She has to be the most adorable little girl since...well.......Kiri. Speaking of Kiri, Lexie would cry everytime Kiri put her down or passed her to someone else. All she wanted was Kiri. Made my heart melt.

Turkey, explosive vomitting, and yet more turkey

2006-11-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving at my mother's house was fun, dramatic, tense, delicious, and fantastic. I called Becca and got her fabulous banana cream pie recipe, and took them to the feast. They survived the 2 hour drive to the middle of the freakin desert, which was colder than shit by the way. My brother and his family were already there, so I opened a bottle of wine (risking the wrath of my Great Grandmother whom we call Besse which is Norwegian for Granny) and we waited for the rest of the family.
At one point once everyone had arrived, my mother was running around trying to get everything ready, dropped a glass bowl. The bowl broke, glass went everywhere, my mother cut herself, then she said some pretty bad cuss words I'm sure Mormons are not supposed to say, and then she declared that dinner was ruined and we might as well all go home. I couldn't figure out why she was in such a hurry as there was a minimum of 3 other people helping her get this set up (including myself) and it was almost finished, but instead of getting angry at her, I just cleaned up the glass and laughingly told her now I knew what to get her for Christmas. She calmed down and we commenced with the eating.
I ate too much, then drove home. I went to bed, then woke up around midnight with my gut on fire. I ran to the bathroom, and projectile vomited all over the place, continuing to vomit until it was nothing but dry heaves. THEN, I had to clean up the bathroom, go back to bed, then wake up at 6:00 a.m. to go to work.
No one else got sick, so it wasn't bad food. It was just me over eating I'm guessing.
My step-kids and my little step-granddaughter came over on Saturday and I cooked a whole new Thanksgiving meal. It was delicious, and I didn't barf.
The little grandbaby LOVED Kiri, and wouldn't let her go all night long. My step-daughter suggested that Kiri come live in Vegas with her during the summer and babysit, but I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with that. We'll see.
Hope everyone had a great holiday. Love to all
Kodi

That's so EMO

2006-11-06T16:08:00.000-07:00

Lately Kiri has been telling me everything is emo. I don't really understand what emo is but it has to do with certain bands like "my chemical romance" and such. So now I use the word all the time and it drives Kiri bananas. That reminds me of that annoying Gwen Stefani song where they sing "is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s!"
Kiri was a punk rocker chick for Halloween, and she went out with her friends to go to the Haunted Hospital. Kendall wasn't feeling well, and went to bed at 7:00p.m. My brother happened to be in town that night, and we got to spend a nice couple of hours eating and talking. It was great to see him again. He is a wonderful brig bruddah. It's so nice to have a teenager in some aspects because I am no longer obliged to trot around the neighborhood with her on Halloween begging for treats. On the other hand, I do have to worry about where she is, what she is doing, and who she is hanging out with. I don't mind her friends, but she does have some boys much older than her that have been sniffing around a bit. I'm not nice to them.
My attitude has been adjusted and I'm enjoying myself at work a lot more now. I just needed a little break from the madness. Things are slowing down, and I'm catching up on some much delayed paperwork.
Did I tell you Kiri has a pet rat? She is very cute and her name is Jellybean. As pets go, rats are pretty easy. Its a cinch to clean up their cage, they don't bite like hamsters, and they are very smart and curious. Jellybean likes to crawl up my arm sleeve and hang out. My husband is completely disgusted by the rat, and won't touch me when I'm holding her.
The pictures I've posted are of my darling girl (who is now a blonde again) and her adorable pet rat jellybean who is apparently attacking Paris in a mousy rage.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, I'll fuck you up

2006-10-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

Okay. Time and reality have altered and Jesus is once again on earth in the second coming, or some such, because I'm actually posting a blog. I have no excuses for neglecting my blog other than my life is so predictable, bland, and boring I didn't wish to inflict it on any one else.

For those of you who are KORN fans, you'll recognize the lyrics from my title. The words express everything I am feeling at this moment. It is fucking October 30th, and yet the visitors are still flocking to the Park. I realize I am being irrational, that these people are on a joyous vacation, but I'm burned out with answering the same questions over and over. Winter is my recharge time so that I may greet the masses of people in the Spring with a positive attitude and a polite demeanor. When the 50th person asks me where the bathroom is after they have JUST WALKED RIGHT PAST IT i feel like telling them to open their eyes and use their brains and I just bet they can figure it out. Of course I don't do this, as I am a consummate professional, and I smile and answer their question like I do day after day.
Okay, I'm whining. I have a fabulous job. I love my job. But I need a break. Does that make me a bad person?

Then, to top it off, I come home to a messy house, a husband who wants to know whats for dinner and gets upset when I tell him it is whatever he makes himself, and a daughter who is demanding that I take her here and there and buy her everything under the fucking sun. I want to scream and be selfish and tell them I am on a fucking mommy strike as of right now! Your both able to fend for yourselves, so do it, and leave me alone for 5 minutes god damn it all.

I'm tired of doing everything myself. I'm tired of being the responsible one. I'm just plain fucking tired.

My post sucks. I'm a negative little bitch and I deserve to be flogged.

I'll think of something happy when I blog again.

Yes, I am still alive (barely)

2006-06-26T12:39:00.000-06:00

Okay, I know it seems I have dropped off the face of the earth. I am truly sorry to you all that I haven't blogged in forever. I have been reading all of your blogs periodically, trying to keep up on all that is going on in your lives, but I have either been busier than shit or so fucking tired I can't even think about turning on the computer. So, to recap the last month or so.

I went to New Mexico for a week after Memorial Day to teach Leave No Trace to the Philmont Boy Scout Ranch Staff, or whatever they are called. It was a blast, and the kids (I call them kids but they are all in their 20's) were very sweet and enthusiastic. They put me up in luxury accommodations that consisted of a canvas tent and two cots. It was pretty nice considering I expected to sleep in a little one man tent the whole time. However, the very first night I woke up around 3:00 a.m. to the noise of something moving around in my tent. Heart pounding (this is bear country after all) I grabbed the flashlight and turned it on. On top of my backpack sat the LARGEST skunk I have ever seen. I ran out of the tent, thinking "what the fuck do I do now?" and waited for the damn thing to get bored and leave. I had to wait 45 minutes for the sucker to finally decide find another tent to raid.

I also went to Vegas to meet up with an old highschool friend of mine. It was a blast, and we drank to excess. I drove home the next day on 3 hours of sleep and the worst hangover known to man. I thought I was going to hurl several times on the way home, but made it intact. I crashed in bed for about an hour, when my husband comes home and informs me that we have to go up the family cabin and join in the Father's Day BBQ. So, I fucking get up and drag my ass over there to pick at the watermelon and drink gallons of water. Then my Father-in-law tells me that some dogs had attacked my nephew's pet sheep and would I go look at it and see if (and these are his exact words) I can "doctor" it up. I love my father-in-law and would do anything for him, but for some reason my in-laws all think I am a vet. But I say okay, I'll go take a look.
Ken and I drive over to the farm, me holding some antiseptic cream and I see the sheep on the ground. I walk over to it and it is obviously dead. I look at it's wounds and am truly horrified. The dogs had ripped out the sheeps entire back end and part of its stomach. There was no way the sheep could have survived. I am not a miracle worker. Feeling sad and hungover, I drive home, and Ken informs me he wants to make a side trip to look at something. I tell him "no" I want to go home and sleep. So then he yells at me, trying to make me feel guilty about the hangover and how I never help him with anything, and he should have just left me home. WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!!!!! I just went to HIS family's BBQ (he never attends any of my family functions) and I inspected one of HIS family's dead sheep. I am still pissed about that.

Thursday I backpacked into Ashdown Creek and met up with some other Park Service people to do more leave no trace. We all hiked out together on Friday, and I tore the shit out of my legs. I should have worn long pants, but it is so damn hot right now. But all in all, it was a fun trip with really good people.

Saturday night was one of my dearest friends weddings. It was so much fun, a day filled with food, drinks, dancing, and karaoke. Kiri and I sang "Teenage Dirtbag" "Down in the River to Pray" and "I'm a believer" together. She teamed up with some friends to sing "I like Big Butts" or whatever it's called by Sir Mixalot. Too stinkin funny. I sang "Wonderboy" with my good friend Jennifer (who was the bride), and "Sweet Home Alabama" by myself. My husband got drunk and decided the karaoke was a competition and kept telling me to sing them "into the fucking ground". He then proceeded to call one of the other guests a dog dick, and so I drove him home. I left his ass there, and went back to party some more with Kiri and my friends. We left at 1:00 a.m. Hanging out and singing with Kiri was one of the best times I have had with her in a long time. She doesn't want to hang with mom much anymore, so I cherished every minute, every song. She looked beautiful up there singing. God, I adore my child.

So that is it folks. I cut out a lot so as to not bore you all to death. But, just know that I am still here, and reading your posts. Summer is crazy busy for me, so my posts will be infrequent. I love you all.

2006-05-12T19:42:00.000-06:00

I drove up the road to do a Geology program today and I saw a Gopher snake. Mark it on the calendar girls, the first snake of the season has indeed been seen. Unfortunately, not photographed however. I didn't have my camera, so I used these public domain pictures from nps.gov. HURRAY, HURRAY, HURRAY!!!!!!!!! THE FIRST SNAKE! I'M SO EXCITED! The fabulous slithery dude was in the road so I got out of the truck and coaxed him off the road. He did not like that very much, and cocked his head to the side and huffed and puffed as he slowly moved away into the bushes. But I would seriously be bummed if he had been squished by a car. The following is my ode to the Gopher snake.

Oh, Gopher snake so fat and sassy
If you got smashed it would be messy
So slide off into your shaded abode
and get the fuck off of the road.

Thank you to those whom I know are clapping and whistling, and even perhaps giving me a "whoot whoot".
Sorry I have been a blog lazy ass lately. Busy busy busy in the summer months. Everyone wants to see the Park right now, so I barely have time to breathe let alone blog.
Next blog I will tell you all about the Concert fiasco with Kiri

I slept untill 11:00 p.m. and I don't feel one ounce of guilt

2006-04-25T22:07:00.000-06:00

Here are a few pictures from my quickie vacation. Kiri is playing basketball with her cousins. Kiri then took a very flattering picture of me the next morning with a slight hangover. My grandmother in her kitchen cooking my 500th meal of the day, and my brother riding his lawnmower while under the influence, naughty boy.

I had a wonderful time visiting the family, and hanging out with Kiri. One negative side affect of the drinking of alcohol is that Kiri caught me smoking a cigarette, and burst into tears. She told me if I ever smoked again she would not ever speak to me. She calmed down after a while, but it put a damper on my party mood. Sometimes I wonder who is the parent and who is the child in this relationship. Kiri seems to think she is my keeper, or my conscience. It is very confusing.

But we are back, and I spend the entire day (after I woke up at 11:00, that is. Which makes me think of Spinal Tap "But this one goes to eleven") watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have always loved Buffy, but never owned the seasons, so it is fun to watch them all in order with no commercials. My friends have hopped on to the Buffy bandwagon, and I love that they love it. I can now share my eternal love for Buffy (and my lust for Angel and Spike) with them all.

2 weeks and counting

2006-04-11T21:37:00.000-06:00

Kodi is finally going on vacation!

I will have a GLORIOUS 8 days off in a row starting April 21st. My God, I can not comprehend the beauty of a whole week off! I can think of nothing else until then. I plan on going to Salt Lake City to visit my Besse (Grandmother) for a couple days, then going to Logan to visit my brig brother (no that isn't a typo, that's what I call him) and his family for a couple days, AND THEN I plan on staying home for 4 days, eating popsicles, riding my horse, maybe hiking here and there, definitely reading some good books and watching lots of movies. Oh, and sleeping in every day!

Kiri wants me to let her go to Vegas with her friend and her friend's mother to see a band called "Avenge Seven Fold" in concert. I don't know if I should let her go or not. I was 15 for my first concert, but my brother watched me like a hawk, and wouldn't even let me flirt even a little. Thank God for Brig Brothers! Do I trust someone to watch Kiri and keep her out of trouble? Do I really want to crush Kiri's dream of attending this concert (it means a lot to her to go). I am torn.

Speaking of concerts, my first concert was the Judas Priest/Raven concert. That was back when I had no clue that Rob Halford was gay. I thought it was a rockin performance, and especially loved when Rob rode out on stage on a big Harley and sang "We don't need Parental guidance Here". Too cool for a 15 year old girl. My next concert was Bon Jovi/Cinderella concert. I thought Jon Bon Jovi was smokin hot as he sailed over the crowd singing "Shot Through the Heart." Oh, yeah baby. Then came the Kiss/Winger/Slaughter concert when I tried to get to the front of the stage when Slaughter was playing and got groped by every sweaty man around and almost passed out from lack of oxygen. Rocker Chick to the Core! After that was the Tesla/Firehouse concert in an outdoor arena. That was okay, but I liked the stifling hot reek of untold amounts of marijuana, deafening roar of music till your ears ring for hours after experience of the indoor arenas better.

Unfortunately, I am too much of tight wad to fork over ungodly amounts of cash for a ticket to headliner concerts now a days. Perhaps someday I'll pry open my wallet and go to another concert, but it would have to be something truly spectacular.

Monday Monday

2006-03-26T22:06:00.001-07:00

I drove to my mom and dad's house Saturday and spent the night. All the way there, and all the way back, I sang songs from the Mama's and the Papa's Greatest Hits CD. My all time favorite M's & P's song is "Monday, Monday". I especially love the part where the music picks up in tempo and they start singin' "Every other day, every other day, every other day of the week is FINE yah. But when ever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes, you can find me cryin all of the time" I sang it over and over until I was hoarse, because I am a big dork.

Kiri and Ken got into a hellacious fight this weekend while I was gone. I won't go into detail, but needless to say both Kiri and Ken were saying some pretty mean things to each other. I am at the end of my rope, and have seriously considered leaving Ken. Though I can sort of see his point, as Kiri is very disrespectful of him. But I expect him to act like the adult, instead of reacting like a child. That's all I am going to say at this time, but I feel like crying.

Tomorrow is the day I am going to start exercising on a regular basis again. I have to start hiking for the season soon, and I am woefully out of shape. I have gained 10 lbs. this winter, and it is time to do something about it. I plan on walking around 3 miles/day to start, and then slowly increasing it until I top out at about 5 miles. After that, I'll throw in 5 minutes of running, then 5 minutes of walking. That is how I lost 20 lbs three years ago. It will also get me out of the house before I strangle my husband.

Kodi's Wild Kingdom

2006-03-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

I was reading animal attack files on the internet, and started thinking about close calls I have had while hiking, recreating in the wilderness. Animal attacks fascinate me, probably because I spend so much time in remote areas, that I want to be informed so I may avoid the dangers out there as much as I can, which really is only to a certain extent. Dangerous animal encounters can be a combination of hiking and camping practices (not storing food properly, not recognizing danger signs like recent cougar kills, elk rutting season, invading an animals space or territory) as well as plain luck. Most snake bites occur because the idiot was trying to pick up the venomous snake (dur...bite me please, I like intense pain) or kill the snake. Legitimate bites (where the person was not harassing the animal) usually occur because the person was not paying attention to where he/she was placing their hands or their feet. I learned this the hard way.
Usually when I hike in rattlesnake habitat, I am very careful about putting my hands in places I can't see very well. I would never just reach under a log willy nilly without looking first. But one hike, I let my guard down. It had rained buckets all night and as I hit the trail, I knew it was going to be a struggle. I got into the flats of hop valley, and huge ravines had been cut across the trail from water runoff, forcing me to scramble up ridges and wallow through deep mud. I was alone, but I had my Park radio, so wasn't really worried. At one point I sank to my thighs in mud, and couldn't pull my self out. I had to take off my backpack, throw it on stable ground and practically swim out of the mud. In the process, I immersed my radio in mud and ruined it. With really no choice but to soldier on, I continued on my way.
At the 6 mile point, I started down some steep switchbacks into a separate canyon, and was starting to feel pretty tired from scrambling and pulling myself through mud for the last 3 hours. The rain had washed big rocks in the trail, and I would often use a tree or a boulder for balance as I navigated my way down. About halfway down the switchbacks, I put my hand on the lip of a boulder as I slid around a rock, and heard the unmistakable sound of a rattlesnake vibrating his tail. I jumped 20 feet straight in the air on instinct alone (I may be exaggerating slightly). When I calmed down I checked my hand to make sure I hadn't been bitten (I hadn't). Then I got curious and peeked under the lip of this ragged boulder to see the snake. He was still there, rattling like crazy. I had literally put my hand about a half an inch away from the snakes head.
I must say, in defense of the snake, he did not bite me when he easily could have, and it was my fault entirely. If I had been alert, I wouldn't have rested my hand on the lip of the boulder when I couldn't see what was underneath. I have hiked in the desert all my life, and I can truthfully say, if you are paying attention to where you are stepping, sitting, or placing your hands, and if you don't mess with snakes in general, your chances of being bitten is almost 0.
A funny side note, once I got to my campsite I had to throw rocks at a pesky squirrel to keep him from running up my leg and stealing the potato chips I was trying to eat. And, a mountain lion walked through my campsite that night as well, but paid absolutely no attention to me at all. He could have cared less that I was there.
Any one else have any close calls with wildlife?
P.S. I was trying to upload a picture I drew on Paint of me, the boulder, and the snake, but it wouldn't load. Stupid computer

Get up come on get down with the sickness

2006-02-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

Yep, I'm sick. Not sick have to stay in bed and do nothing sick. Walking sick, general miserableness. I think it all started with the stuffing yesterday. I was eating stuffing around 2:00 p.m, watching America's Funniest Home Videos, when something amusing happened, I laughed, and inhaled stuffing. I choked and gagged, and some of it went into my nose. Seriously, I was blowing stuffing out of my nose. After that, I had a sore throat which has progressed into headaches and coughing. Sucky stuffing. So a word of advice. Don't eat stuffing while watching funny videos.

I went to Vegas to see some very good friends of mine. Mizzusj and hubby were there. We ate massive amounts of food, and I stayed up until 2:30 a.m. Maybe that is why I'm sick. Who knows. Fun was had by all, AND I won $370.00 on my favorite slot machine Wheel of Fortune. So I came home with more money than I left with, and that was also great.

As I can think of nothing more to say, I though I'd do the tag thing, though I was never tagged. I will move on in the assumption that someone was thinking of tagging me, but forgot how to spell my name. Huh, I think being sick has made me even wittier. Imagine that.

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD
1. Lifeguard
2. Pig farmer
3. Prairie Dog catcher/tagger/releaser (they are endangered in Utah, part of a study).
4. Park Ranger

MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Serenity
2. Snatch
3. Ghost and the Darkness
4. Bridget Jones's Diary

FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED
1. Delta, Utah
2. Ephraim, Utah
3. Salt Lake City, Utah
4. Cedar City, Utah (yeah, I know, I need to expand my horizons)

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE
1. The Jeff Corwin Experience
2. Real World/Road Rules Challenge
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. Firefly

FOUR PLACES I'VE VACATIONED
1. Norway
2. Yellowstone
3. Monument Valley
4. Disneyland

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE DISHES
1. Ice cream of any kind
2. Shrimp scampi
3. Mizzusj's chicken salad with ramen noodles in it
4. Cheeseburgers

FOUR SITES I VISIT DAILY
1. Mizzusj
2. Baby Attack
3. Moviemistakes.com
4. Animal Attack Files (yes, morbid, but fascinating)

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Riding my horse
2. Norway
3. My brother's house
4. Hiking

Rangerin'

2006-02-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

Today I am heading over to the local University to do the Career Fair. Yipee! I enjoy talking about my job to those who wish to join the ranks of green and gray.
The above pictures are of Zion after a storm, and me looking very tired after all that ranchin' in the desert.

Lots of driving driving driving

2006-02-20T17:32:00.001-07:00

The following pictures are of the local family ranch located in Arizona. I would post more but I have to go get Kiri from Milford, which is an hour away. She was supposed to come home with a friend, but somehow that friend isn't coming back until 1:00 a.m. She can't seem to understand why I am angry at her for making me drive to Milford in the snow to get her. KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-20T17:19:00.000-07:00

That is my sweet hubby coming out of the shitter. He wasn't too pleased with me for taking that picture. The other pic is of a storm rolling in over the vermillion cliffs.

2006-02-20T16:51:00.000-07:00

This rock was a piece of the set from the original "Planet of the Apes" that was filmed in this area. It looks real until you get up close and can see the holes that have rusted through. Ken's uncle was an extra in the movie and kept this rock as a souvenir.

In the Words of the Immortal Sophie "I'm a Ropin Cowgirl"

2006-02-20T16:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Kendall and I went to the family ranch to check on the cows. Ken's father usually handles most of this, but he just had eye surgery, so it was up to us. The ranch is around 3 hours away, located on the Arizona Strip, which basically means "out in the middle of the freakin desert".
They used to run about 300 head of cows out there, but because of drought, there are only about 100 head. We checked the water and made sure all was well in what is really cow heaven.
This is definitely something I could do for a living. I love the desert, and I love the isolation. This area of Arizona is truly gorgeous, and we had a great time. We saw a coyote, 2 hawks (Northern Harriers), and Golden Eagle, and spectacular red cliffs. So, as I am a total slacker in the blog verse lately, I thought I'd share some of the photos.

Trials of Motherhood

2006-02-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

Kiri and I were reminiscing about her childhood, and the embarrassing things she has done over the years. She was a precocious child, and as a single mother I spent a good deal of time entertaining her. I was often forced to bring her along to meetings and such because of lack of day care or money, and the result often ended in the hilarious.

Once I took Kiri to McDonald to play in the (admittedly gross) playland. She was very recently potty trained, and had accidents occasionally. At one point during the playtime, she came running over me, and desperately told me she had to go to the bathroom NOW!. We were running up the aisle between the tables towards the restroom, but alas it was already too late. Kiri had pooped her pants and the balls of poop had rolled out of her underwear, down her leg and onto the restaurant floor. I saw the horrified and disgusted looks on people's faces as they were eating. I made a detour to the front counter and very calmly told the young teenaged worker, in these exact words "My daughter just shit on your floor." Then we turned and left the restaurant. We didn't go back for several years.

Another time, I had to see my Genetics teacher in the Science Building, and had no babysitter. I figured it would be a quick meeting, so I took Kiri with me. I was standing outside the teachers office door talking to him, holding Kiri's hand but not really paying attention to what she was doing. She tugged on my hand a couple times, and I turned to look at her just as she yanked the fire alarm lever down. The noise was deafening and Kiri bust into tears. I ran to the office to tell them it was a false alarm. So, Kiri evacuated 2,000 some students from the science blg that day. Later in the week, someone found out it was my daughter that pulled the alarm and he gave me a candy bar to give to Kiri, saying "Your kid saved me from a Physics test".

Around the same time, I had to attend the Nutcracker ballet for a class assignment. Of course, no daycare is open that late at night in this town, so I went with Kiri in tow. After 5 minutes of ballet, I was polietly told to leave as Kiri was having a good time banging people with her bottle. I should have guessed what a rebel she would be when she was kicked out of a FAMILY presentation of the Nutcracker at 2 years old.

I used to work as an aide for the Agriculture department. I had some paperwork that really needed to be finished before the next class, and of course, Kiri was sick. So off to the Science Building we go. I'm cuddling a sick Kiri in my arms, walking down the hall towards my office, when she suddenly barfs a massive amount of puke in my hair and down my back. I turned around and we went home a soggy mess.

She was a little cutie, a tyrant, a genius. I miss my little girl, but I love talking to the teenager I have now.

Teenaged Confessions

2006-01-30T16:01:00.000-07:00

There is absolutely nothing going on in my life at the moment. So, as I was reading my diary from when I was 14 (Kiri's present age), I thought I'd transcribe a few entries to show you what a shallow, self-absorbed girl I actually was. I, of course, thought of myself as all-knowing and incredibly sincere at the time. But I wasn't. Here goes.

July 12, 1985

I just got back from Lake Powell. It was a blast! We were at Rainbow Bridge (church group) and there was this really cute guy there. I said Hi to him and he said hi. When I went to the house boat he told me "to have a good time". I smiled and said "you too". Then I was up on the deck of the boat when he drove by, he slowed down and said "would you like to come along with us?" I laughed and said "no thanks". He left and I felt so good.

Feb 14 1987

I just got back from dancing at the game and I'm crying (note to readers, I was a memeber of the school drill team at the time). It's really been a crappy night. The game ended earlier than I thought, so I go to the Seven 11 to call for a ride. I find out Shane has already left to get me, so I go to mainstreet to wave him down. He finally finds me after a lot of running around and we drive home. I walk in and my dad starts saying stuff like "I hate it when you do this" I say "well, I'm sorry. I didn't want to stay out in the cold and wait a half an hour for someone to come get me. It was early, so I went to the sev. to call" He says" we set plans so that you don't have to walk around late at night". I say " I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong". He says" How do you think it makes me feel when you do this? You knew someone was coming when you did it". I said "I can't believe you actually believe I did it on purpose" Him, "That's not the point. You broke plans that you set". Me, "It ended early and I didn't want to get locked out in the cold." Him, " I don't want this to happen again and if it does you can bet there won't be a next time".
I didn't want to cry anymore so I just said "fine" and went to my room. I know he was right about somethings and I worried him, but I honestly didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I can see his point of view but he doesn't understand me, doesn't try to. I even hinted to him about coming and watching me dance. I said "I have to be there at six. It's our last performance of the season." He said "okay" then turns to my mom and says "Well, what should we do tonight then? Go to a movie?"
It hurt me bit I didn't say anything cause I didn't think they'd want to come. My mother has never come to see me dance. I wonder if they care.

As you can see by the two entries, I was a typical self-absorbed child. It was weird to read about my father getting angry over me walking around at dark. I would have totally been pissed at Kiri if she did that. But then again, I would have gone to see her dance.

Stupid post, but it gives me some reminders of how hard it is to be a teen.

$4,000 smile

2006-01-25T14:03:00.000-07:00

Kiri got her braces off yesterday. She looks wonderful! I did tell her that I paid $4,000 for her teeth, and that I now own her smile. If she doesn't take care of her teeth, I shall take them back. She didn't really think that was so funny.

Last night, for some reason unbeknownst to me, I decided to get drunk. Raspberry rum and sprite is quite tasty, and I over-imbibed. I don't get drunk very often, but when I do I get this crazy urge to call up everyone I know and chat. I tried to call Jennifer, and my brother, but no one answered. I was all kinda upset, when I looked at the clock and it was almost 11:00 p.m. Luckily, my friends and family love me, and no one called me back to berate me for the drunken late calls. Sorry Shane. Sorry Jenn. I love you guys.

My husband and I got a little frisky last night (he loves when I get drunk because he KNOWS he'll get some), and then after the passion I promptly barfed in the toilet. That has to be the biggest turn on ever, when you make sweet love to your wife and then she runs to the bathroom to vomit. Sorry Ken, I love you babe.

I then went to work today with only a slight headache. I think it was a good thing I threw up or I would be hating life right now. I'm so stupid. Sorry body, I'll try to take better care of you.

I'm off to take Kiri to the dentist once again today. Maybe I'll get out of there without loosing everything I own. Wish me luck.

Na na nana na nana, You Say It's Your Birthday!

2006-01-15T22:47:00.000-07:00

On this day, 14 years ago, my beautiful daughter was born. Inspite of all the hardships, pain, aggravation, and tears, I regret not a whit, regret not a second of being her mother. The laughter, joy, and sweet comfort of my only child outweighs everything else. Kiri, you are my soul. You color my life a happy pink, splashed with lots of reds, yellows, and fierce orange. Ultimately, when I am asked to describe myself, my proudest answer is that I am your mother.

In celebration of your 14th birthday, I will share some stories of Kiri. Some are funny, some stories are sad, but I am honored to have shared in it all.

I had a C-section with Kiri, and as I was in the middle of a divorce, my mother was in the surgery room with me. My mother is an intelligent and curious woman, and she kept a running commentary for me as Kir was being forcibly removed from my womb. "Oh!" my mother said, "they are making the first incision now". Good thing I'm not squeamish, though the anesthesia made my body feel very unreal and disconnected from my mind. "Wow!" mother exclaimed, "I can see your uterus." Super, mom, thanks.
I felt a terrible pressure on my stomach and mom yells "Oh my God, the baby is half way out!" Then she begins to laugh, because apparently Kiri was hella pissed and had grabbed onto the nurse's scrub shirt and wouldn't let go. They had to pry Kiri's tiny fingers off the shirt before they could deliver her the rest of the way. 7 lbs 7 1/2 oz, and 23 inches long. She was all arms and legs and huge eyes. Gorgeous.

Once when Kiri was around 3 years old, I picked her up from daycare, and one little girl asked Kiri "Why doesn't your daddy ever pick you up?". Kiri turned, her face beet red, and replied "I don't have a daddy, I HAVE A GRANDPAAAAAA!"

At 4 years old, Kiri loved all the creatures on the Earth, especially bugs. Once while she was playing in the backyard, I sat nearby reading a book. Her favorite game was to walk around lifting all the rocks and looking for bugs underneath. I picked her up and we went to a doctor's appointment. While in the waiting room, Kiri sat at a kiddie table playing. I wasn't really paying attention, but then I noticed something strange. The table seemed to be very dirty. I walked over to Kiri, and she was busy pulling potato bugs out of her coat pocket and putting them on the table. She had filled every pocket with bugs, because in her mind what better use could a pocket serve than to transport bugs around. There must've been at least a hundred bugs crawling on the table and Kiri. The receptionist didn't find it as funny as I did.

A little while later, I was picking Kiri up from daycare, and as usual asked her how her day had gone. She replied "Oh, it was okay. But Victoria was being naughty" I asked what Victoria had done. Kiri says "She was screaming and throwing tampons." Stunned, I asked how in the world Victoria had gotten a hold of tampons. Kiri looks very confused and says, "No, mom, she was throwing tampons." I tell her I don't understand. And very patiently, like she is talking to the biggest idiot ever, Kiri says "You know, she was kicking and rolling on the ground throwing a tampon." I almost wrecked the car, laughing my ass off as I realized she meant a tantrum.

As a single mother with one child, the only person Kiri could fight with was me. And boy, have we got into some helacious fights. When she was little, she would often tell me in a rage that she hated me. This would cut me to the quick. Once I told her "Fine. If you hate me so much, then lets find you a new mother." I then picked up the phone and pretended to call an orphanage. I told the non-existent person to come over right away and get my child because she hates me and wants a new mother. That was the cruelest thing I have ever done in my life. I watched my daughter cry silent tears, thinking I was abandoning her. I told her the truth at that point, and told her how much I loved her. I am not proud of that moment.

Now Kiri is almost an adult. I have cherished all 14 years, and am excited for her future. Kiri, baby, I think you are the brightest, loveliest, sweetest young woman in the world. I see a greatness in you, an intelligence tempered with compassion that makes me think I didn't screw up your whole life. I love you. I love you more than anything. Happy Birthday.

People from Pennsylvania ROCK!

2006-01-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Becca, Katy, Kiri and I all went down to Las Vegas to hang with Patrice and family. We had lunch at a great BBQ place then wandered around the Paris hotel for a bit. Becca, Patrice and I gambled for a bit, and then, unfortunately, the day was over and we had to head back home.

I was a bit nervous to meet Patrice. I wanted to make a good impression, but didn't want to look like I was trying to make a good impression or seem fake in anyway. I couldn't have been more comfortable with Patrice, Sean, Trent, and Bella. They were so nice, and funny, and...Well...cool.

So, here is my list of things I love about Patrice.
1. I love that Patrice looks you in the eye when you are speaking to her
2. I totally dig Patrice's sense of humor.
3. I love that when I burped multiple times, Patrice just laughed. I had some weird stomach issues that day, and was burping up a storm. I have always been rather free with my burps, though I do excuse myself afterwards. Some people are offended by my burpage, but Patrice was not, thank God.
4. It was nice of Patrice not to be angry with me when she lost $10 on the Wheel of Fortune slot machine that I recommended. Sorry Patrice.
5. Patrice has to be one of the easiest people in the world to talk to, and if I lived back East, I could totally see us hanging out on a regular basis.
6. And, wow, she is really pretty too, and looked smokin hot in that black lacy shirt she wore to lunch.

Baby Bella was adorable, and very well behaved. Katy immediately took her under her care, and the little tyke loved her. When Kiri was that age, she would've been screaming and kicking within minutes of arriving at the restaurant. What a sweet little girl Bella is.

Sean was, well, the only word I can think of to describe him is COOL. He seemed right at home amongst the girls, joking and laughing and sharing in the conversation. I was filled with delight when he grinned and gave us all a thumbs up sign, which happens to be my favorite hand signal and I use it quite often. The dude was just too cool. Kiri, Trent, Bella, Sean, and Katy all toured the hotel while the rest of us gambled, and Kiri thought Sean was way cool too. She thought it was neat that he was upset when the staff wouldn't let them on some part of the tower or something because he was accompanied by children. Kiri said he wasn't upset for himself being denied, but that the kids were denied. I think Kiri took to Sean right away.

Trent was surprising on many levels. He was patient (which hello Kiri, take some pointers babe) and never complained when the adults talked forever in the restaurant. He obviously enjoyed his huge plate of BBQ chicken. He was attentive to his little sister, keeping her from toppling off the steps, and he has the most amazing deep beautiful voice.

I was disappointed that we couldn't stay longer. Patrice said they will probably be back next year, so I suggested we make it a tradition, and next time we'll come down on Saturday and spend the night. Hopefully someday we can all travel over to Pennsylvania and meet Nicole as well.

OH! And I forgot to tell everyone what Kiri gave me for Christmas. I am such a dolt. The gift Kiri gave me was a beautiful quilt that she made herself. I seriously got tears in my eyes when I opened it up. I love it! It was the greatest gift I have ever received, and I snuggle up on the couch with it every night.

Note to self: take picture of said quilt and post on blog.

Love to you all.

Time to take down the tinsel, the season tis over

2006-01-03T12:28:00.000-07:00

My parents, Reed and Ellen are to the left. Me in my new hat on the right.

Kiri giving you all a big Christmas kiss. And Kiri in her hat and opening presents.

Sorry I have not posted in a while. I have been busier than hell, and also dealing with a little post-holiday blues. Thank God for my friends, that they force me out of my house and lift my mood considerably.

Christmas was smashing! Kiri seemed very happy about the gifts she received. She got some very nice clothes from my parents, as well as a kick ass cowboy hat. Mom and Dad also gave me a cowboy hat, and my mother and father-in-law gave me some spurs. Whooo hoooo, it's time to ride baby!

New Years was fabulous. I had a wonderful time. I sang some karaoke, some good, some bad. I think my rendition of Twisted Sister "We're not gonna take it" was smokin. But, alas, the song from the musical Annie "Tomorrow" was not so great. Becca and I sang some "Dust in the Wind" with B on harmony, and I think we could take that song on the road, it was so fabulous.

Here are some Christmas pics. I, being a complete and total moron, forgot my camera for the New Year's party. Oh, well.

Jolly ole' Saint Kodi

2005-12-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

Whoooooo Hooooooo! One more week until Christmas. Kiri has put a very large present under the tree for me this year, and I'm dying to know what it is. She, of course, won't give me any hints, the little vixen.

Ken and I bought a digital camera as a joint gift for each other, so pics will be posted very soon. That is if I can pry Kiri's fingers off the camera for 5 minutes to download the suckers. Santa has bought me a garlic press, and the new best of Korn CD, because Santa is a very smart gal who happens to know all of my very immediate needs.

Our dog, Lightning, received her new doggie bed a little early because we keep catching her sleeping on the couch in the morning. I think she is getting a little old and arthritic, and it is too uncomfortable for her to sleep on the floor anymore. She seems to like the bed, though I am a little worried she'll chew it to pieces, like she does all her toys.

My mother and father will be coming down to my house Christmas day. I guess Thanksgiving dinner was such a roaring success, they are ready to risk my cooking again. I think I will make Prime Rib.

I went to Chronicles of Narnia, LWW, with Becca last night. I loved it. It was so much how I pictured things in my head when I was a little girl reading the books. Though I must say, I never pictured Mr. Tumnis being such a smokin' hot fawn. I can't remember who played Mr. Tumnis, but damn, take off the ears, the bulbous nose, and the goat feet, and he is one fine looking dude.

I wish you all the happiest Christmas ever!

Weak with relief

2005-12-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

Oh my God, what a stressful week. Monday I was running last minute Christmas errands (sorry Becca, I was so not avoiding you). Tuesday was spent at South Elementary doing Animal Adaptations. The first 3 classes were wonderful. Smart kids, interested, respectful of my awesome inspiring presentation. Then I hit the last group. Holy shit, what an unruly classroom. One girl, who I am sure is a very nice girl, would NOT shut up while I was talking. I tried to talk over her a few times, then gave up and had to become stern ranger and tell her to please save her comments for the end of the presentation. Even after that she had her hand raised the rest of the class, and when I would finally call on her, she would go entirely off topic and tell me what this or that uncle did or saw, or whatever. Then this other little boy, who I am sure was the class clown, fell off his chair (how?, no idea) and when the class laughed at him, he proceeded to continue falling off his chair at intervals for the rest of the hour. Of course you have the obligatory nose picker, the many whisperers, and those who just really could care less what I was talking about. Where was the teacher you might ask? Well, I guess she decided since I was in the class that meant it was free time for her. I was exhausted when the class was finally finished.

To top it all off, I was a week late for my period. I was totally fucking freaking out thinking I was pregnant. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate, and I kept going to the bathroom every half an hour in hopes of seeing blood. I would surreptitiously check my boobs to see if they were tender. I didn't feel pregnant. After I was 6 days late, I decided to get a tester just to ease my mind, or find out for sure. So today, I bought a tester. I peed on the thingy, waited 3 minutes, and guess what? I AM NOT PREGNANT! Thank you Lord Jesus, I am not ready to be a mother again. Of course, 2 hours after I took the test, I started my period. I'm thinking I freaked myself out, and mentally fucked with my menstrual cycle.

So, I'm heading over to Missuzj's for a bit. And I can drink alcohol without worrying about weather I've got a bun in the oven. No bun, thank God. The relief is overwhelming.

nicknames

2005-12-05T13:34:00.000-07:00

I was reading Rob's post and thinking about some of the nicknames I have had throughout the years.

When I was little, my father called me Kodi bear. My brother would often call me Kodi and the Koala bears, and, strangely enough, Costa Rica. My maiden name was Kodi Roholt, which as a little girl, I couldn't pronounce, so I called myself Kosi Hoho.

In high school, my best friend called me Ko, and as her name was Lori, I called her Lo. My boyfriend in school called me Karody Rowyourboat, and others would call me simply Rolo. I also was frequently called Kodi Coyote.

Kiri never called me mommy. It was always Mama, Mom, or Ma.

My best friend Becca calls me by my favorite nickname, Kodikins. A really good looking seasonal ranger called me Kodelicious for a while.

As a waitress many years ago, customers would often ask me if my name was Kodi as in Wild Bill the cowboy. I would promptly reply that it was Wild Bill Hickcock, so they must mean Buffalo Bill Cody. Get your cowboys strait you ignoramus.

I used to hate my name as a youngster. I always wanted a feminine name like Heather, or Amber. But now, as an adult, I really like my name. It fits me, as I was never girly enough to have a name like Victoria.

As I posted a while back, Kiri was named after the slave/warrior girl from Beastmaster. I called her Kir most of her life, but sometimes referred to her as "the little shit", until she got old enough to understand what that meant, though I intended it as an endearment.

Kiri's friends call her Kiwi, which always sounded to me like they had a speech impediment, but whatever.

Some things that baffle me

2005-12-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

While I was at work this week, and watching those around me, I began to ponder those strange idiosyncrasies that people have that puzzle me exceedingly.

For instance: Why do young women feel the need to say everything at the top of their lungs? In the grocery store, when two or more young ladies are masses together, they all yell, scream, and laugh as if they are all experiencing sudden loss of hearing. I admit, when I've had a few cocktails in me, I tend to up the volume, but hardly to the extent of the typical 19 year old girl. I noticed in Norway, that the young women there talked quietly, sans the shrieking. Maybe it's an American thing.

Why does NO ONE read a map before going on vacation? Even before I was a ranger, I planned my trips carefully, knew what freeways and exits to take, and had reservations for the places I wished to stay. Yet on an everyday basis, people come into our Visitor Center with absolutely no clue where they are or how to get where they want to be.

Why do people bring tiny babies into a movie theatre? If you, dear readers, happen to be one of these people, I hope to not offend. But, when I went to see "The Amityville Horror" I was completely dumbfounded when 2 couples walked into the theatre with very small babies, which proceeded to fuss and cry the entire show. Don't get me wrong.....I love babies, but when I attend a movie rated PG-13 or higher, I do not expect or appreciate being inundated by noisy children. If I attend a Disney movie, I expect noisy children.

Why do ATM's only spit out $20 bills? At my district, we charge a $10 entrance fee. I typically run out of change before noon, and must resort to begging visitors for the correct amount. I would love to personally take a baseball bat to all fucking ATM's on a daily basis. On the same note, why are people so reluctant to part with their tens or fives? Often I will SEE a ten in their wallet as they prepare to pay, but they pass it over and invariably hand me a twenty. What the fuck is that? It makes no difference what you pay me with, the entrance fee doesn't change, so give me the Goddamn ten dollar bill for Christ's sakes.

Why can't people have their check pre-written before their groceries are done scanning? I can write most of my check out before it is my turn at the cashiers. It's not hard. I promise.

Why can't my daughter tell time? I tell her to be home before 8:00, and 8:30 rolls around and no Kiri. When she finally comes home, her excuse is always "I didn't realize how late it was". You're almost 14 years old for cryin out loud. Learn how to read a watch! And don't give me shit when I get angry at you for being late. I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a teenager to be able to keep track of time.

Okay, my rant is over for now. I was thinking about adding sections on people who make funny or disgusting noises unconsciously, mothers who are hard to please, stranded visitors who think I should leave my post to drive them wherever they need to go, idiotic locals who can't comprehend the concept of an entrance fee, fucking rejects who like to tell me stories about killing snakes and shooting birds, men who can't flush the toilet or rinse out the bathtub after using it, and husbands who are so fucking noisy in the morning a person can't sleep in on their day off, and much much more. But I don't want to sound like a negative person.

Nightmares

2005-11-28T14:11:00.000-07:00

I had the worst dream last night. I dreamed that I was a chaperone at Kiri's school for a dance, and I couldn't find her anywhere. I was searching and searching, when I decided to check out the old dilapidated building behind the school (why there was an run down hovel behind the school never seemed relevant). I found Kiri in this dirty shed having sex with some dude, and I wigged out. I was screaming and crying, telling her I was sending her away to boarding school, and oh my god did you use protection, what if you're pregnant, my world is crashing down around me. And Kiri just calmly and coldly told me she could do whatever she wanted and there was nothing I could do to stop her. I woke up at that point, still crying. It was such a relief to realize it was a dream.

That made me think of some re-occurring dreams I have had all my life. I wonder what they mean, if anything. One common dream of mine is that I have super powers to shoot lightning out of my fingers, but I have to concentrate really hard, and sometimes it won't work. When I dream of flying, I don't flap my arms, but I swim through the air, or sometimes glide using air currents.

I often dream about hiding from someone that is trying to hurt me, and as I am running around evading this mystery killer, I realize I have forgotten to put on my shoes, and the loss of my shoes is more distressing than being chased by a maniac.

I have dreamed that I was a man on several occasions, and a very sexy man at that. I will even have sex with a woman, while I am a man in my dreams. Weird.

Dreams of snakes are also pretty common. I work with snakes for my job, so that's probably where the theme comes into the picture. Once I dreamed that my mail lady brought me a bucket of sea snakes, and we decided to go into my bedroom and smoke some weed. Whilst we were toking up, the snakes got loose, and the rest of the dream was my running around trying to catch them all without being bitten.

Funny Stories

2005-11-21T11:26:00.000-07:00

Last week at work a very nice couple came into the Visitor Center. They saw the poster we have on the wall advertising the National Park Pass. The poster has a picture of Yellowstone with geysers and bison.

Nice man: Do you have buffalo in the Park here?
Ranger Kodi: No, that is of Yellowstone.
Nice woman: Geez, honey. Everyone knows that Yellowstone is in California.

I laughed under my breath, not wanting to offend anyone. I suppose a lot of people would get Yellowstone and Yosemite mixed up, but it was quite amusing as the lady seemed quite smug in her vast knowledge of National Parks.

We also had a Student Intern who wanted to know what kind of bats were in the Park. He was getting quite frustrated looking through the Bird book for bats until I informed him that bats were not, in fact, birds. Bats were mammals. He was quite sheepish.

I hiked Taylor Creek with some people from the BLM (A different federal land agency), and it was nice, but cold.

Kiri unbeknownst to me attended a rock concert on Saturday night, and when I found out about it I wasn't too happy. I reprimanded her for not telling me where she was and she replied in a very flippant way "Mom, it was a Christian Rock Band, there was no alcohol or drugs, and ALL my friends were there." That shut me up for a minute, but then I told her that if she ever goes out again without telling me, she would be grounded every weekend for a long long time. She didn't seem to feel the threat was serious because she just flounced away. I miss being her best friend. I miss her thinking I was fun to hang out with. I miss feeling close to my daughter. I don't want to alienate her, but I don't want to let her run wild either. I am at a loss on how to relate to her anymore.

Some good news. My parents are coming to my house for Thanksgiving this year. I was asking my mother what her plans for the holiday were, and she said she didn't feel good enough to travel all the way to my grandmother's house, and as she had inadvertently burned her oven up, as well as a good portion of the kitchen, they would probably eat thanksgiving at a restaurant. To which I replied "Come to my house!", and my mother's answer was "Can you even cook a turkey?". I assured her that YES, I can cook a turkey. Just because I was a tomboy throughout childhood, and had no interest in learning how to cook, I have since been forced to learn after the birth of my child. So indeed, Kodi can cook. And by God, it will be fabulous! My misspent youth haunts me to this day.

Some more ancient history

2005-11-14T14:48:00.000-07:00

In answer to some of the questions concerning why I can't talk about Endangered Species, let me quickly explain. In Utah, there are several animals listed as endangered, including the Utah Prairie Dog and the Spotted Owl. Both of these animals are endangered because of loss of habitat. To protect habitat for these animals, certain restrictions have been enforced that anger the local population. If, by chance, you have Prairie Dogs on private property, the landowner cannot develop his land at all because of the animal's presence. So, that really pisses people off. The locals here do not care at all for the local wildlife population unless it can be hunted. So I hope that helps with your questions.

Some of you expressed interest in the tales of my first marriage. I'll go into some of it now.

I met Eric when I was 19 in one of my college drama classes. He was gorgeous, 6'4", and muscular. I was surprised and deeply flattered that he showed interest in little ole' me. It was a whirlwind romance, and he was kind and generous. I fell deeply in love with him, and we were engaged 2 months after we met, much to my parents chagrin. They tried to talk me out of marrying him, but I was sure he was the one for me. There were warning signs for sure, like his fascination with knives and guns, and some of the stories he told me about his life struck everyone as fairytales, but I ignored them.

We were married 1 month after the engagement, and then my eyes were truly opened. For one thing, he couldn't seem to hold a job down for more than a couple weeks, yet had plenty of money. He was insanely jealous, and I slowly distanced myself from all my friends and family because he would fly into a rage if I showed affection to anyone, including my father. We fought constantly, and this soon escalated into physical violence. I would often go to work, waitressing, with bruises and my co-workers would ask me what happened and I would tell them with a laugh that I fell off my horse, or I was wrestling with my husband and it was an accident.

Eric would secretly follow me everywhere, and one time he was watching me at work without my knowledge. When I got home, he was livid, screaming at me that I was flirting with the customers, and bending low over the tables to pour coffee so that the men could look at my cleavage. This fight was the worst ever. We yelled and screamed for hours, at one point I tried to leave and he grabbed me on the sidewalk outside our home and tried to drag me back into the house. Some kind stranger stopped in her car, and told me to get in, that she would take me wherever I needed to go to get away from Eric. Eric verbally abused the woman, then threatened to kill her if she didn't leave. She did leave, and to this day I wish I knew who she was so I could thank her for her kindness. The fight continued in the house. Eric was much bigger than I. At the time, I was 5'3" and around 100 pounds. The stress of the marriage had caused me to loose 20 pounds in about 2 months. He would throw me around like a rag doll. I finally told him I was going to bed, and I couldn't fight anymore. I had to go to work in a few hours. I tried to ignore him as he continued to tell me I was a slut and a fucking whore. At one point he pulled out his hunting knife, and I truly thought he was going to kill me.

Because I was stupid, I stayed with him, suffering more fights and abuse for another month. Then he got arrested for impersonating an officer, and burglary. Now I understood where the money was coming from. He was a thief.

My life was pure misery, and I had no one to go to. I was too embarrassed to go to my family, and I had cut off all my ties with my friends. Then I found out I was pregnant. When I told Eric I was pregnant, he told me it couldn't be his child because he knew he was unable to have children (a total lie). He accused me once again of having an affair. When the fight became violent, I was afraid of losing the baby. That is what gave me the courage to leave for good. I grabbed as much stuff as I could and ran for the car. He punched the window of the car in and tried to pull me out, but I was able to start the car, and leave. I filed for divorce the next week. When I say that my daughter saved my life, I really believe it is true. If I hadn't of gotten pregnant with Kiri, I would have stayed with that fucking bastard, and he would have eventually killed me.

I moved in with my parents, who were so relieved that I was back and away from Eric. Within a couple months of leaving Eric, I went back to college and finished my Associates Degree at home. Then I moved into my own apartment, and finished up my Bachelors at Southern Utah University.

Eric tried to intimidate me to come back to him, but none of that worked anymore. All I cared about was Kiri, and her well being. Eventually, Eric just disappeared. I do know he was in prison for a couple years for burglary. I had his parental rights terminated, and that was that.

The hardest thing for me was that I had always thought of myself as a strong woman, someone who wouldn't take shit from anyone. But Eric showed me that I was weak and afraid. It was a huge blow to my self confidence and self image, and I suffered from depression for a long time after the divorce. Now, I think I am somewhat cold, and I don't open up to people very well. Becca and my friends here are the first friends I've allowed myself in a long time. The frienships I have now have helped me to be less negative and bitter. Kendall is the exact opposite of Eric, soft spoken, laid back, quiet. I think that is why I married him.

Anyway, that is my sad story. I am no longer ashamed of my first marriage. It taught me to be independent, and that I can achieve my goals without any help from anyone.

ho hum

2005-11-07T21:40:00.000-07:00

It has been a week with a whole lotta nothin'. The only bright spot in the entire week is when I had friends over on Saturday night. We watched a little "Scarface" and mostly just talked. I had a great time.

Not much going on right now. I am going to do some school programs tomorrow for a local 4th grade class. I always enjoy that. I am not sure if I'll be able to bring the snakes, as it is quite cold outside. The don't do so well in the frigid arctic air. It's the whole ectothermic thing. But here is a list of things I have learned while doing programs at elementary schools.

1. Never ask "are there any questions?" without qualifying what exactly you mean by questions. If there are no limits, the children will tell you fantastic stories about cobras coming out of their grandmother's couch, fathers killing a rattlesnake 10 feet long, or the time they stuck their tongue on the ice in the freezer and it stuck. So instead you must say "Are there any questions? and by questions I mean sentences starting with who, where, what, when, why, and how that relate to the subject I have been discussing for the past hour."

2. Never leave your cool props and visuals unattended in a classroom. The children don't steal them, but are so fascinated they cannot keep their hands off and usually end up breaking something.

3. Warn the children before pulling the live snake out of the bag unless you want mini burst of mass hysteria.

4. Never mention hunting, endangered species, or environmentalists in the classroom, or you won't be asked back the following year. I find it challenging to teach these children without talking about these topics, especially endangered species, but these are touchy subjects and many parents will call and complain if they knew they were being taught in class.

5. Be careful what games you play in the class to demonstrate your point. I usually play a web game with string and the children are different plants and animals all connected in a pretend ecosystem. Some child invariably puts the string around their neck (why?) and pretends to die in a dramatic tumble to the ground.

6. When playing a variation of tag that involves some students being deer and others being cougars, make sure you let them know this is touch tag, not kick tag, hit tag, trip tag, or tackle tag, or the blood will flow.

7. If you do your best and let them see how much you love your job, and enjoy being in their classroom, the kids will remember you forever. I had one girl recognize me in the grocery store and scream "Ranger Kodi!" and give me a huge hug. All the while her mother is eyeing me like I am some kind of pervert until I explain that I once did a program in this girl's class, and she must have liked it.

Cheers!

My little girl

2005-11-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

I'm going to steal from my friend's blogs once again and tell you some things you may not know about Kiri.

1. She kicks ass in science (A daughter after my own heart)

2. She is very shy and quiet most of the time.

3. She was named after the warrior/slave girl from the movie "Beastmaster"

4. She loves her Grandpa Reed almost more than she loves me

5. She is an incredible creative writer, but too shy to show her work

6. She gets her feelings hurt very easily, and unfortunately most of the time it is my fault.

7. She can play a mean game of basketball

8. She is the most kind and loving person I have ever met, and I am proud to be her mother

9. Her first word was Baba

10. She started walking at 81/2 months of age

11. Her middle name is Aase, which is my Norwegian grandmother's name. I wanted her to know and love her Scandinavian heritage

12. She once threw up all over me in the Science Building as I was heading in to turn in some homework for the class I missed because she was sick.

13. At 2 years old, she pulled the fire alarm on the Science Building while I was talking to my genetics teacher and the entire building was evacuated

14. She is smarter than I was at her age.

15. She has started a blog herself and you can link to it from my page.

I love you baby.

Trip to Monument Valley

2005-10-31T13:48:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of Kiri (she's the cute girl in the cowboy hat), and one of me and Kiri on our horses. I threw in a couple pictues of Monument Valley as well.

I am getting ready for my favorite holiday in the world, HALLOWEEN! Yipeee! I am doing the easy thing this year and wearing a silly fish hat. Kiri is going as a dead bimbo (NOT my idea), but as long as her ass and boobs are covered, I'm not going to make a fuss.

Missuzj and Sophie dropped by this morning. I was still in bed because I'm a lazy bum on Monday's. Soph was wearing her funshine bear costume and was adorable. God, I love Halloween. I always laugh every year when all the crazy zealots start calling Halloween a satan worship day, and try to get everyone to boycott it. Whatever. It is fun to dress up and get treats, so chill people. I am not so sure that the Devil gives a crap about little kids in princess costumes.

Have a great spooky Halloween everyone!

Horse boogers

2005-10-27T20:36:00.000-06:00

I met up with the farrier (horse hoof trimmer and shoeing type person) today to get my horses hooves trimmed up. It was colder than outer darkness (you other mormon people will enjoy the reference). My horse likes to put her head on my shoulder while I scratch behind her ears, and she did this while the farrier was working on her feet. Next thing I know, I'm covered in horse slobber. I mean she soaked my whole left shoulder and ran down my back and in the front past my boob. Nothing better than horse boogers right before you go home to watch Survivor and eat pizza.

The farrier was a young man around 25, and totally adorable. Cuter than....well, cute. Very smart and witty as well. So, it wasn't all bad.

I got Kiri's grades for the first semester. She got 4 A's, 1 B, 1 C+, and 1 F. How do you get 4 A's and one F? It really baffles me. She blames it on the 3 days of school she missed last week because she was sicker than a dog. I guess she missed a test. But even so, how does one test drop a grade to an F? I don't know whether I should talk to her teacher and see if she can make up the work and get her grade changed, or just hope she does better from now on. What do you all think I should do?

A quick memory I have of my brother and I when we were around 9 and 12 years of age ( I was 9, he was 12). One winter our outside faucet froze solid, and we had to haul buckets of hot water from the house to the horse trough, a total of about 300 feet one way, back and forth until the trough was full. The water had to be hot to melt all the fucking ice already in the trough. This had to be done in the morning before school and again after school, all winter long. We would bundle up in my dad's heavy overalls and oversized coats, and haul water back and forth. We would race each other, and end up spilling half the bucket on our pantlegs, which would then freeze solid. The sun would start coming up just when we were finishing up, and I remember watching the sunrise with my older brother, in complete silence. Even though that sucked ass carrying water, the sunrise was always beautiful, and made the task not so terrible.

That same winter, it rained then froze, and our whole field was one solid ice rink. Shane (my bro) and I got our old wooden sled out, the kind with the wooden planks on top and metal skids on the bottom. We'd take turns running with the sled towards the ice, then hurling ourselves forward and sliding forever. Then Shane decided he had to get the farthest out yet, and ran full bore towards the ice, leapt on the sled too far forward. The sled tipped upwards and he smacked his face on the ice and slid a good long ways on his face, with his legs up in the air on the tilted sled. I ran over to him, laughing my ass off of course, and helped him stand up. Then he spit blood all over the ice and I saw his lips were mangled. I did quit laughing when I saw that.

I also accidentally kicked my brother's two top front teeth out once when he was tickling me. He to this day says I did it on purpose, but I swear to God it was an accident. He was a cool brother. I love that dude.

Some background info

2005-10-24T16:41:00.000-06:00

I figured most of you don't know much about my background, so I'd write a little about where I came from and big events of my life. Lets start out with my childhood.

Overall, I had a happy childhood. There were some ups and downs of course, but I had a loving family and great friends.

I was born in Salt Lake City, Utah. I was almost born in Red River, New Mexico. That's where my folks lived when I was conceived. The nearest hospital was 2 hours away, and the doctor decided it would be best to fill my father in on how to deliver a baby in case they didn't make it to the hospital on time. My father promptly packed his family up and moved to Salt Lake.

One of my best childhood memories is of my best friend Brandi. We would play for hours every day. One of our favorite games was pretending we were King Kong and our barbies were Jessica Lange.

When I was 6, my brother, cousin and I were crossing a busy street to get to Sunday School (which for some reason was held on a Wednesday). I remember the day fairly clearly. We had just learned about looking both ways before crossing the street in school that week. So I looked both ways....no cars. I started running across the street and then darkness. The young man who had hit me got out of his truck, and seeing the damage the 6 year old girl had done to his vehicle, then exclaimed "MY TRUCK!" Fucking Prick. My brother saw and heard the whole thing. I was in the hospital for 2 months with a fractured skull, broken ribs, broken hip, ruptured spleen (which was quickly removed) and a mouth full of broken teeth. This would not be the last time I busted out all my teeth. The man who hit me was uninsured, and left town after a insincere apology to my parents.

At the age of 7, my parents decided to live in the country. We moved to Hinckley, Utah. I thought my life was over when I said my last goodbye to my friend Brandi.

My father is an electrician, but was raised on a farm in Preston, Idaho, and always craved the small town life. We raised 180 acres of alfalfa, had numerous chickens, dogs, cats, horses, and pigs. I found that farm life suited me just fine. I was a tomboy who loved the outdoors, my horse, and privacy.

At the age of 12, I was in Karate class and blew out my knee. I had surgery, and recovered fairly quickly. When I was 13, I got bucked off my horse and busted out all of my front teeth, six teeth total. I still bear faint scars on my face from that incident. At 14, I was playing football with my friend Becky and her very cute brothers and blew my knee out again. This time I not only tore tendons and ligaments, but I broke the knee cap itself into 3 separate floating pieces. The good part was when Becky's hot brother Mel carried me to the car and drove me to the hospital. That part was heaven.

That was my childhood, the quick version. Perhaps when I am feeling melancholy, I'll relate my first marriage to you all. It will take about 4 paragraphs as I was married of a grand total of one year, but only with the man for about six months. Just long enough to get pregnant. I still believe to this day that having my daughter saved my life. Both physically and mentally.

More to come another day.

Doodle bug

2005-10-20T20:19:00.000-06:00

So, I'm finished with my supervisory training for the year. Thank the Lord. The lecturer wasn't so bad, fairly entertaining actually, but I must occupy my hands somehow during endless hours of listening to someone else talk. I ended up going through my entire training guide, coloring in all the letters that have holes (does that make sense?), and doodling little pictures in the margins. It was pretty informative, though I have done the personality tests so many times with different results that I must be trying too hard.

So I was pleased to see that Missuzj has tagged me. Here goes.

Ten Years Ago: Okay, lets see. I was 24. I had been divorced for 3 years, and still pretty bitter about it. I had just moved to Cedar City the year before to finish up my bachelors degree, and was struggling with school, taking care of an almost 4 year old girl, and feeling desperately lonely. I had zero friends, no family in the area, and living in a dump of a basement apartment that I couldn't afford. I had been seeing Kendall for a while by then, and enjoyed dating him, but was so against the thought of marriage or commitment that I often gave him the cold shoulder in hopes he would get frustrated and quit calling me. He had asked me to marry him earlier that year, and I laughed in his face. I seriously can't imagine why he stuck around. Except for Kiri, my life sucked. The only things that kept me from an total mental breakdown was the fact that I loved my little girl more than anything, and I was driven to excel in my studies. I cared about little else besides those two things.

Five Years Ago: I had been working for the Park Service for 2 years and been married to Ken for 3 years by that time. I had found my greatest treasures unexpectedly in Becca, Kelli, and Jennifer. Kiri was 8, and still thought her mother was the smartest, prettiest, greatest woman in the world. We had just moved into the little white house in the center of town, which just happened to be a block away from Missuzj. Missuzj quickly became my mentor, confidante, and closest friend. Kendall nicknamed our new home "the covered wagon" because it is as old as the pioneers (or damn close).

One Year Ago: Kiri and I had just returned from Norway one year ago. It was a fabulous trip, though Kiri was a little grumpy and impatient at times. I snapped at her a couple times, and then felt really bad about it. At one point she was rolling her eyes and being a general pain because she didn't like our choice of activity and I yelled at her "I should've just left your grumpy ass home." Another time I told her she was ruining my vacation, and hurt her feelings really badly. Overall, we got along well and enjoyed ourselves immensely.

Five Snacks: Cheetoes, deep fried motzerella cheese (which I love to eat but cannot spell), twix bars, kettle corn popcorn, hot fudge sundae.

Five Songs I Know All the Words To: Son of a Preacher Man, Dream On (Aerosmith), They Both Reached For The Gun (Chicago), Sandman (Metallica), Pinball Wizard (The Who).

Five Things I Would Do with $100 mill: Put Kiri through college, buy a new house, buy my parents a new house, build a fantabulous horse arena, donate to Lupus research.

Five Things I Would Never Wear: a dress, stiletto heels, Ug boots (ala Brittney Spears), leather chaps paired with only silk panties (ala Christina Agulera), thong underwear.

Five Favorite TV Shows: Forensic Files, Survivor, Jeff Corwin Experience, VH1 specials, Going Tribal

Five Biggest Joys: Kiri, snakes, Kendall, my animals, my friends.

Five Favorite Games: Solitaire, Trivial Pursuit, Black Jack, Dominoes, Scrabble

2005-10-18T23:10:00.000-06:00

My dog, Lightning, didn't go hiking, but she's so cute, I had to throw her pic in as well.

2005-10-18T23:09:00.000-06:00

Check out those flowers! And the plants are pretty too.

2005-10-18T23:08:00.001-06:00

Beautiful fall day on the mountain

2005-10-18T23:08:00.000-06:00

Put one foot in front of the other.....lalalala.

2005-10-18T23:07:00.000-06:00

Oh my God! It's an African swallow carrying a coconut.

2005-10-18T23:05:00.001-06:00

Mmmmmmm. Cheese.

2005-10-18T23:05:00.000-06:00

Paul is so clever, he figured out how to set the timer on the camera that I've had for like 10 years. All of us could be included in this picture. We were a bit tippy by then.

Hangin with my pals

2005-10-18T22:44:00.000-06:00

This is how I feel today. A little silly, pretty tired, and on the edge of complete insanity.

I took this picture of myself, for some strange reason. I look like a toad.

Kiri has been very sick, and I had to go back to work, so I'm a bit overwhelmed right now. I'll get over it. The following are some pictures of the hike I did with my two good friends, Jen and Paul. We did this hike back in September, and it was gorgeous. So enjoy. I'll try to blog more later this week. I have to go to training for two days, so I'm sure I'll have lots to vent about later.

My ass hurts from all that driving

2005-10-13T12:03:00.000-06:00

I'm back. Hurrah! I missed all of you terribly. The trip was fun, and I definitely want to go back again, but it feels good to be home.

We left early Monday morning and drove all the way to Page, Arizona. As we pull into the restaurant in Page, my car starts making a god awful noise, and I'm thinking "Shit, there goes the vacation". Kendall makes me stick my finger through the hubcaps and feel if there is any pad left on my brakes. All I feel is HOT metal. So we see a Big O tire, and it's only 4:00 p.m. Arizona time, so we decide to try and get them fixed pronto.

We walk into Big O and wait at the counter. And we wait, and we wait, and we wait. I'm all for going to eat, and try again in the morning, but Ken wants to get them fixed NOW, so he marches through the EMPLOYEES ONLY door to the garage. I can only hear his side of the conversation but it goes something like this.
Ken: I need my brakes fixed today
Big O dude: mumble mumble mumble
Ken: You don't look busy
Big O dude: mumble mumble
Ken: I need to speak to your boss
Big O dude: mumble mumble (a note of distress in his voice)
Ken: What is your boss's number, I'll call him at home
Big O dude: mumble mumble!
Ken: You bet your ass I'll call him at home, now what is his number
Big O dude: mumble, mumble mumble (a note of resignation in his voice)
Ken: Hey, thanks man, I really appreciate it.

Ken then sticks his head back into the waiting area, and tells me to pull my car around, they were going to fix my brakes right now. Thirty minutes later, we had new brakes. Ken supervised the entire installation, making sure it was done correctly, then tipped the guy $10 after it was all finished. Sometimes it is nice to have a pushy man around to get things done. I would have never dared to walk into the garage and threaten the mechanics into submission.

We left Page and drove to Navajo National Monument. I hiked around there, looking at petroglyphs and Anasazi ruins while Ken stayed with the dog (who was not allowed on the trail). This arrangement pleased everyone because Ken doesn't like to hike, and I don't like to hear him complain when I force him to hike. When I got off the trail, I purchased a Navajo cookbook from the gift shop, and am looking forward to making fry bread. I can also now cook a prairie dog, as there is a recipe for that in the book, but as the Utah Prairie dog is an endangered species, I don't think I should try that dish just yet.

Then, on to Monument Valley proper, stopping at all the Native American vendor booths all along the way. We must have stopped fifty times, and I eventually purchased a beautiful silver bracelet. Again, Kendall sprung into action, haggling with the vendor. Summary of the conversation follows.
Kodi: How much for this bracelet?
Native American woman: $65.00
Kendall: We'll give you $30.00
Native American: I can let it go for $55.00
Kendall: $35.00
Native American: $50.00
Kendall: All I have is $40.00. That's as high as I can go.
Native American: okay

I was blushing the entire time. I hate when Kendall haggles with people. He grew up in this area, and he tells me the Native Americans expect you to haggle with them. I don't know about that, it seems somewhat like taking advantage of them, but Ken says that haggling is part of their culture.

Monument Valley was stunning. I know this is a cliche, but it was truly breathtaking. I can't wait to post the pictures I have of it, though I really don't think they will do the place justice.

We spent the next night in Mexican Hat, then toured around Hovenweap for a few hours, which was very cool AND they allow dogs on the trail. I pondered on going to Mesa Verde, but Kendall wanted to head back to Page and head home the next day. I decided that Mesa Verde could wait. We had seen so much already, so we decided to head back.

Now I'm here, a day early and very happy to be home and sleeping in my own bed tonight. I'll post pictures soon.

Hurray for Vacations!

2005-10-03T14:52:00.000-06:00

Ken and I are getting ready to go on vacation next week. We are heading into Monument Valley, stopping by Natural Bridges National Monument, and Hovenweep National Monument, to eventually end up in Mesa Verde National Monument. I am so excited. I've never been to any of these places, so it should be totally cool.

Kiri doesn't want to go with us. I really want her to go, but last year she had a beast of a time catching up on all the school work she missed when we went to Norway. She would rather stay with her friend and go to school. I have mixed emotions about this, as I really don't want her to miss school, but I'm wondering how much school work she will actually do while staying with her friend.

Speaking of school, I am getting ready to head over to meet with Kiri's teachers for an update on her performance so far. These used to be called Parent/Teacher conferences, but now have the happy euphemism of SEOP's. I have no clue what SEOP stands for (little help here Missuzj), but I liked it better when it was a Parent/Teacher conference.

I have mountains of laundry, so I'm keeping it short this time.

I love rock and roll

2005-09-28T21:55:00.000-06:00

I was tagged ages ago for my top five songs I'm listening to right now. I didn't do it at first, because I felt that most people would find my list ridiculous. But, as today I can't think of much else to blog about, I'll reveal my total lack of coolness.

Here goes, top 5 songs

1. Doesn't remind me by Audioslave
2. Sugar by System of a Down
3. Son of a Preacher Man by Dusty Springfield
4. Every song on the Flogging Molly Swagger C.D
5. Dragula by Rob Zombie

I know, many believe it is impossible to like Rob Zombie AND Dusty Springfield, but alas I like to sing, and Son of a Preacher Man is fun as hell to sing.

As a teenager, I listened to all those glam rockers like Tesla, Firehouse, Def Lepard. I loved that shit. And it was, truly, shit. I went to several crazy concerts. My first concert ever was the ....drum roll, Judas Priest/Raven concert, then came Bon Jovi/Cinderella at the Salt Palace. Then the largest and craziest concert I ever went to was the Kiss/Winger/Slaughter extravaganza. WHOOOOO HOOOOO. I was trying to get close to the stage when Slaughter was playing, cuz the lead singer was wicked hot, but with the masses of people pushing and shoving, I just managed to get felt up about a hundred times. Then, I enjoyed the Tesla/Firehouse concert on the lawn in Park City.

Now, I'm just too cheap to fork out tons of money to see mainstream musicians. I like to listen to them when I'm working out, and in the car. Good enough for me. Give me big bands on the radio, and local bands in the city park for free.

Kiri listens to 50 Cent, and Nelly, and Usher, and crap and crap and crap. I think it is in our DNA to hate the kind of music our parents listened to. One day she was playing 50 Cent's song "Candy shop" and I almost freaked out at how nasty the lyrics were. I mean, "She's my Cherry Pie" is pretty fucking tame compared to some of the shit she listens to. What do you do? You tell them you won't buy the C.D, so they get a friend to burn a copy for them and they listen to it any way. I think you can just hope at this point you've taught them enough, and they will not get pregnant immediately after listening to hip hop. I think that music forcibly causes a woman to ovulate. Just a theory.

Going Bananas

2005-09-26T21:15:00.000-06:00

I walked out of the Visitor Center on Saturday, and I saw this tarantula. He was trying to get into the Women's restroom for some odd reason. I say he, because I am guessing it is a male wandering around looking for a girlfriend, as male tarantulas tend to do this time of year. Maybe he thought he would find his soul mate in the women's loo, but I was afraid his lust would get him squished. I took newspaper and carefully herded the spider out of the way and into the bushes, consequently getting my picture taken about 30 times by curious and fascinated tourists. It was kinda fun. The picture on the top left is of one of my favorite hikes. I have probably hiked this trail close to 50 times for my job, and I still love it. It is never the same, each time I hike it. Jennifer and I tried to hike it last February, but the footing was too slick with ice and snow. I, of course, slipped and fell right into the freezing cold creek, which thankfully was only a few inches deep.

I went up to central Utah on Friday to do a school program for 4th graders. I love doing school programs. The kids usually are pretty excited to see me, and some remember me years later. I usually take 2 live kingsnakes with me, but I didn't think it would be healthy for them driving in a car for hours there and back again. But I took a bunch of skulls, snake sheds, owl pellets, and raptor feathers. It was fun, yet draining, and I would have killed for a Mt. Dew by the end. I really admire teachers after visiting their classrooms. I'm only there for a few hours, and I'm physically drained by the end. Teachers do it every day. So, here is to all you wonderful teachers out there (especially Missuzj, Lonna, and Shawna) who inspire and educate. I raise my glass to you. I am in awe of your intelligence, patience, and skill. I admire you.

stupid mofo

2005-09-19T12:06:00.000-06:00

I was going to upload some pictures, but they are all upside down and I can't figure out how to flip the som bitches. I'll keep trying. Stay tuned for pictures, one way or the other.

P.S. Can anyone help me with this?

Much too much

2005-09-19T10:45:00.000-06:00

I just returned from taking my dog, Lightning, to the dog groomer. She loves to go for rides, and was so excited to hop in the car. I felt a little sorry for her knowing I was taking my oblivious pet to a place that she loathes. We walked into the groomers, and as soon as she realized where she was, she started fighting against the leash. The collar promptly slipped up over her ears and we had a loose lightning dog running willy nilly, trying to find a place to hide. Poor thing. She is such a good dog, and I tried to not get angry as she avoided re-capture, but it was somewhat embarrassing. We finally trapped her and dragged her into the grooming area. Poor thing. But, I know she will be extra happy to see me when I pick her up.

The Sunday before Labor Day, my friends Jen and Paul and I went hiking down Ashdown Gorge. It was gorgeous. I've posted some pic's of us.

Kiri did a cheerleading clinic last week, and the did a dance/cheer during half time of the high school football game on Saturday. I paid $4.00 to watch her cheer for 5 minutes, but it was worth it. She did a great job. I was watching her and thinking how much I miss the elementary programs the kids used to do every year, dancing and singing. God, she was adorable. Now she is a young lady, and I have so much hope for her future. I would rather she pursue basketball, which she kicks ass in, than cheerleading, but whatever. I'll support her no matter what.

Kiri and I were watching this stupid show on MTV called "My Sweet 16", where these spoiled rich girls get lavish birthday parties thrown for them by their indulging parents with bands, and new cars, catering, and guest lists in the hundreds. Kiri told me she wished we were rich. I looked at these girls and thought, if that is how my daughter would behave if we were rich, I'm glad were not. What a bunch of brats.

Missuzj, Sophie, Jimmy and I all went to the park to play Saturday evening. Soph wanted me to exercise with her so we ran all over the grass. Then she had her mother play jack in the bean stalk, and I laughed my ass off. We threw Jimmy the pup's strange squirrel frizbee thing, then went home. It was a blast. Sunday we all went to see the horses, and Sophie went to feed my horse an apple, and the horse accidentally bit her finger. I felt so bad. I wanted Sophie to love my horses, and feel safe, and I fucking ruined it. I should've warned her to keep her fingers and her hand flat. I totally blame myself, and I hope she'll come with me again. I did, however, get missuzj on a horse. She rode around for a minute, and did incredibly well for someone who had never ridden a horse before. I told her she was a natural.

Of Mice and Me

2005-09-13T21:35:00.000-06:00

I was reading Patrice and Nicole's blog about the mice, and it reminded me of a couple of funny mice stories of my own.

I used to live in a small town called Summit. It was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by fields, so there were mice-a-plenty. One day, about 6 years ago, Kiri and I decided to go into town. I can't remember why, but that is irrelevant. I decided to take my old stationwagon that had been sitting idle for a couple of months in the back yard. Kendall had been urging me to drive it, saying something about if it sits for too long the tires will rot into useless lumps, yada yada yada.

Kiri and I jumped into the wagon, which amazingly had almost a full tank of gas, and jumped on the freeway. We got about 3 miles out of town, going somewhere around 70 m.p.h, when I saw this little furry creature crawl out of the hood of the car and cling onto my windshield wiper. It was a mouse. And he was holding on for dear life, his little gray mousey fur blowing wildly in the wind. He turned and looked right at me through the windshield, and I swear I saw the fear and confusion on his face, just as if he was saying "my God, one minute I was sleeping peacefully, and the next I'm careening down the road on this god awful machine, and I don't know how to get off this ride!" He stayed on the hood the whole 15 minutes I was on the freeway, frozen with fear, or maybe exhilaration. When we got the the bank, and stopped the car, he ran back under the hood. I opened the hood, and the little monster had made a nest right on top of my battery. I looked around for him, and eventually saw him jump out of the bottom of the car and take off. I still crack up when I remember the look on that mouse's face, and his fur flying wildly around.

A different story, many years ago when I was only 6 years old or so, I was out playing with my cats (we had multitudes of cats, many of which were feral, but I was determined to tame them all, and spent many hours doing so. I cringe now when I think of all the diseases those poor cats had). I saw one of the cats had a mouse in his mouth, and it was still very much alive. My heart just broke when I looked at that poor mouse, and I stupidly tried to save it. I thought in my blind innocence that the mouse would know I was trying to save it, but of course it didn't, and the sucker bit me when I got it away from the cat. I told my mother what happened, and ended up in the hospital getting tetanus shots and crying hysterically. Not the greatest memory, though I do remember vividly my older brother making funny faces and telling me jokes while I was in the stupid hospital. What a great brother.

On a different note, I have to say I am destined to be a hobbit, methinks. I hiked and hiked last week and lost nary a pound. I just get muscle under my chub, making me think of a hobbit or Gimli the dwarf. I'm short with curly hair, so I think I must be related to one of little middle earth species. Maybe I'm an orc.

My new horse also ran into me yesterday and sent me spinning, the little hussy. She was just playing around, but it hurt, and I called her lots of nasty names, which bothered her not at all as she came over immediately and tried to sniff out the carrots I had in my pocket. I am soooo unappreciated.

2005-09-06T08:52:00.000-06:00

That's my husband when we went camping last month. He loves gettin' wood. hahahaha

2005-09-06T08:51:00.001-06:00

That is the black rat snake I saw. It's the black thing in the leaves

2005-09-06T08:51:00.000-06:00

Not sure how to make this right side up, so tilt your head to the side and watch me get eaten by a polar bear in Virginia.

2005-09-06T08:48:00.000-06:00

We had all of our I.D's in my hat, and the cute Army dude put my hat on his head while checking to make sure we were legit.

2005-09-06T08:47:00.000-06:00

I obviously took this one myself. Very humid, so it looks a little foggy

2005-09-06T08:46:00.000-06:00

Thats me in the middle kneeling down

And the Beat Goes On

2005-09-06T08:32:00.000-06:00

Okay. I'm finally posting again. It has been a hectic week. I was laboring on Labor Day weekend, and it was busy as hell. In the midst of all the chaos, one visitor told me I was the most helpful ranger he had ever met. That made me feel good. It also made me re-evaluate my attitude. While I am always pleasant and polite on the outside, sometimes I am irritated and frustrated on the inside. I love my job. I love the people I work with, and I enjoy the many people who visit the Park. I love to share what I know about the Park with the visitors, and sometimes I loose sight of why I became a ranger. So, here is my list of why I love being a Park Ranger
1. Sharing my knowledge
2. Feeling pride in the system I work for
3. The sense that what I do makes a difference to the environment, and to visitor's attitudes towards the environment
4. Getting paid to hike is the biggest bonus
5. Being one of the few lucky individuals who get to work in one of the most beautiful places in the world.
6. Meeting all sorts of people from all over the world.

That really only touches the surface of what makes my job so wonderful. Here are some pictures of the Boy Scout jamboree I attended in Virginia this summer. I have to head to work, and I am super sore from hiking with Jen and Paul this Sunday, so it's a short one. I'll try to blog more often now that things are slowing down for the winter.

Tales of the 34 year old grandmother

2005-08-28T23:54:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm a grandmother. I should clarify. I'm a step-grandmother, but my step-daughters don't see the distinction, and tell me I am a grandma. Not that I mind, I don't. The kids are wonderful. David is 1, and Alexis was just born last week, the cute little tyke. It does feel weird being called grandma, but I have always thought the world of my step-kids, and now I get to spoil their children for many years to come.

Alexis was born on the 24th. We rushed down to Vegas around 8:00 that night (and let me tell you, finding that hospital was not easy). She was born by C-section at 11:30. We were all a little tense because the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck and she wasn't breathing when they first delivered her. But they got her breathing, and the doc said she was going to be just fine. The mother is doing well too.

I just got back from my parents house, where I exchanged my fathers horse (which I had borrowed) for my horse (the one in the pictures that I got for my birthday). Everything went swell until I got home and introduced my horse, Mimi, to Kiri's horse, Musty. A horse fight ensued, with me holding on for dear life, trying to separate the damn horses and not get trampled, kicked, or bit in the process. Having been trampled, bit and kicked in the past, I was not keen to repeat the experience. So, now they are in separate corrals, starring each other down to see who will blink first. Christ, why can't anything ever be easy.

I must say, I am quite excited to start riding my new horse.

Funny Visitor Question
Visitor: Which hat should I wear on my hike?
Ranger Kodi: eh?
Visitor: Should I wear the ball cap, which I usually wear in forested areas, or should I wear the visor, which I usually wear in hotter weather?
Ranger Kodi: Either one will be fine. (while secretly thinking, Dude! It's a hat, for Christ's sakes)

Quick note: We had a search and rescue where this silly man was rappelling into a very difficult canyon, and a big boulder fell on his foot. Unfortunately, the man was wearing sandals, and had to have 3 toes amputated, though the boulder did most of the amputation before the doc did the rest. The multitudes of unprepared, ignorant hikers lacking any common sense whatsoever never cease to amaze me.

The spell check wanted me to replace Christ with crust. funny

For you, from me

2005-08-23T18:19:00.000-06:00

Okay, Katy tagged me for the seven things thing. So, here goes......

7 things I plan to do before I die
1. Go to the Mediterranean
2. Read Charles Dickens (keep meaning to, haven't yet)
3. See my Daughter's college graduation
4. Get my Master's degree
5. Milk a venomous snake
6. Hike the Appalachian trail (or some of it, anyway)
7. Go whale watching

7 things I can do
1. Ride a horse
2. Hike 14 miles in a single day
3. Identify snakes in the wild
4. Rappel down a cliff
5. Read a map
6. Party like a rock star
7. Castrate a pig

7 things I cannot do
1. Stop obsessing about my weight
2. Rock climb
3. Rope a calf
4. Quit saying Fuck all the time
5. Cook well
6. Play soccer
7. Push ups

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. Nice body
2. Intelligence
3. Self confidence
4. Sense of humor
5. Good kisser
6. Outdoorsy type
7. Athletic

7 things I say most often
1. I mean...
2. Dude
3. Whatever
5. You bet
6. The fee is $10 dollars
7. Fuck, Goddamn, Jesus Christ (had to put all three because it's a tie)

7 celebrity crushes
1. Brad Pitt
2. Clive Owen
3. David Boreanz
4. Viggo Mortensen
5. Hugh Jackman
6. Eric Bana
7. Jason Stratham (Handsome Rob in the movie "The Italian Job". If Katy's Handsome Rob is as handsome, I'm moving in on the action)

People I want to do this
1. As all the people
2. I know who blog
3. have been tagged
4. already, I
5. don't think
6. I can add
7. anymore

I loved reading everyone elses 7 things. I usually pretend I didn't get tagged, but this was fun.

Quick note: A boy scout came into the Visitor Center the other day, and out of the blue looked at me and said " I like your pigtails" Totally made my day.

sooooo slleeepppyyy

2005-08-19T20:39:00.000-06:00

I'm so tired. Long day at work. I'm so looking forward to the weekend. I'm just gonna sleep and sleep. Thank god school has started, now I can sleep in on Mondays with no one the wiser.

Kiri seemed to enjoy her first couple days of school. She has been getting up pretty early to do her hair and makeup, which is okay until I try to get into the bathroom to brush my teeth or pee, or brush my teeth while peeing (hahahaha). I forgot what a bathroom hog she is. We need a bigger house with 2 bathrooms in it, damn it! The thing is, I don't want to CLEAN a bigger house. I tend to just find a drawer or closet and stuff things in them, and I know a bigger house would not cure me of that. I laughed at Becca's blog about things piled on the bookshelf when only books should reside there. Currently in (and on) my bookshelf I have....
1. books (but not neatly tucked as they should be but stuffed every which way because I have too many books and not enough room).
2. A teddy bear I brought back from Virginia
3. Photo albums
4. An eagle sculpture collecting mounds of dust
5. A toy car my dad gave me ages ago
6. Earrings (Kiri's)
7. nail file
8. School papers
9. bobby pins and elastic bands
10. bic lighter
11. Postcards I filled out while in Virginia and never sent off

So, I'm a bit of a slob. Not hopelessly so, but I am somewhat of a clutter person. About twice a year I get the "I'm going to get organized" bug and clean furiously, finding the right place for all my things, and throwing away or giving away all those things I don't want or need anymore. It lasts about a week, then stuff starts getting piled up again.

My husband on the other hand is a clean freak. He is constantly vacuuming, picking up, and throwing things away. I get very angry sometimes when he throws my stuff away, but then I say to myself "Kodi, if you would've PUT it where it belonged instead of piling it on the kitchen table, he wouldn't have thrown it away." It keeps my clutter in check. He drives me crazy with the throwing away of things, but I'm sure I drive him crazy with the clutter. We even each other out.

Unfortunately, Kiri takes after her mother times 10, and her room is a disaster. I can't even look at it. It even drives me crazy, and I'm pretty lax on the cleaning stuff. But, my God, at least my shit is stuffed away out of sight. You can't even walk into her room without tripping, or slicing your foot open on some object or another. I gave up even trying to keep her room clean. Now, when she wants money, I make her clean her room. Bribery is the only way to win. How sad.

I was embarrassed when Becca and Sophie came to visit, because Soph wanted to see Kiri's fish and they saw how messy (and messy really doesn't even come close to describing it) Kiri's room is. But I know Becca and Soph love me and Kiri anyway, so whatever. I had a lovely visit with them, and felt silly that I forgot to offer Becca a glass of wine. She always offers me a drink when I visit her, and I totally failed in the hostess department. Sorry, Becca. Love ya girl.

Count down to first day of school and my relative freedom

2005-08-15T08:39:00.000-06:00

I say relative freedom because Kiri will still demand to be driven to BFE every day after school and on the weekends. But I will get 8 hours of no child and no husband every Monday, which will be fabulous.

Kiri and I went to back to school night on Thursday, and she is in for a tough year. She is taking some hard classes and someone needs to light a fire under her ass to keep her on top of things. I guess the fire lighter will have to be me, as Kendall is A. Working all the time and B. Too laid back and easy going to argue with Kiri to do her homework.

We walked into her science class to meet her teacher, and holy shit. Both of us couldn't quit staring, the man was gorgeous. I wish I would've had a good looking science teacher. Kiri turned and whispered to me "Is THAT my teacher?" and I nodded dumbly, as the man was just too cute for words.

Kendall and I went camping on Saturday. It was lovely. Ken made hotdogs and hamburgers on his new space aged grill that cost way too much while I drank vodka. We rode the horses until dark, then cuddled up in the tent right when it started raining. Can I just say how much I love my husband. I think most of the time all I think about or talk about is the negative bullshit with my husband. But truly he is a wonderful man.

I took some pics of us at the mountain, soon as I develop them, I'll post them (prolly next year, ha)

Kiri came back from a friends house with a dog. Ken put his foot down and said absolutely NO. Kiri was devastated, and I felt bad for her. Sometimes it is a good thing that Ken is so stubborn, because I probably would have caved and let her keep it. I was pissed at the lady who gave Kiri the dog without checking with her parents first. So today the dog goes back to it's original owner, and Kiri will cry her eyes out, and I'll feel like shit. God, who does that? Just gives a kid a dog without informing the parents of the decision? Jesus, I hate when she cries from real hurt and sorrow. Kiri will cry over being angry or over petty things sometimes, and that doesn't affect me much, but when she cries over being truly hurt in some way, I feel miserable too. When her tree frog died she cried for 2 days and I really felt bad. And I am always the one to dispose of the dead pets, which sucks. The tree frog had escaped and was a dead frog glued to the carpet of her bedroom, which I had to pry off the carpet as he fell to dead frog pieces. Gross. I flush the fish, I bury the hermit crabs and pet rats. Why do I give in so often and let her have these silly pets that never last more than a couple of years? I love to be miserable I guess. But I tried to tell her when she couldn't keep the dog that she has plenty of pets. She has a dog (lightning) and 2 fish (Mr. Crab, and Bullwinkle) and a horse (Musty, I know silly name). She really doesn't take care of the dog or horse, so I don't think another dog is a good idea. Whatever, she'll get over it soon.

I'm watching Sophie right now and she wants me to pretend to be a puppy, so I better go. She is so fun and smart. I love playing games with the sweet girl.

Dentists suck

2005-08-11T14:32:00.000-06:00

I'm off to the dentist. Not for me, but for Kiri. She has braces. $4,000.00 worth of braces. I had to get a stinking loan to pay for said braces. Every month these braces are tightened, and Kiri gets some weird new color of holders on her braces. One month it is purple, the next green. Whatever. I don't care what damn color they are, I don't see how they could possibly be worth $4,000. What a joke. And her dentist is too damn nice. He talks to me like I am a child, and I want to grab him by his nards and let him know in no uncertain terms that I am not stupid. I went to college for Christ sakes, I know where the fucking mandible is located. So take my money, and shut the hell up and fix her damn teeth.

I am thinking how fun it would be to go to the dentist drunk. I mean no inhibitions, say what you think, find yourself hilarious drunk. Totally tanked. I think the dismay and confusion on his face as I first tell him he's an overpriced hack, flirt with him outrageously, then barf in his spit sink would be priceless. Too bad I have to drive to the dentist, or the drunk thing might be a fun experiment.

Work was interesting today. It rained buckets last night and the rocks came tumbling down. We closed the scenic drive to move the gigantic boulders, and I had to deal with all the disappointed visitors who wished to visit. Not the much fun. One lady did bring in her own pink toilet seat cover with yellow daisies on it. Got a good chuckle over that. As I am not a germaphobe, I love to watch those people who are. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with being concerned about germs, but it certainly makes life more complicated, like, for instance carting your own toilet seat cover around where ever you go.

Gotta go see the dentist and smile while he asks me if I want to pick a toy from the magic treasure chest.

Push the button

2005-08-09T14:36:00.000-06:00

As many of you know, my friends and I are Karaoke junkies. Once Paul brought his extreme karaoke machine to a party at Becca's house. My wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous friend Jennifer and I commenced to hog the microphone and sing multiple songs in a row, laughing our asses off the whole time. We had a few drinks, and were feeling freaky. At one point, Paul came into the room to try and talk some sense into us about SHARING the karaoke time. Jennifer and I listened quietly, and nodded our heads appropriately. When Jen figured Paul was finished, she pointed at the karaoke machine which was paused on our next terrific number, and said simply "push the button." Now this may not sound hilarious to you, but I found it absolutely hysterical. I laughed long and hard, and often tease Jen by out of the blue telling her to "push the button."

It so happens when I was in Virginia, I was in an elevator with total strangers. At the time I was feeling rather numb from lack of sleep and intense humidity. The elevator doors closed and the stranger lady looks at her husband and says "push the button". At that moment I suddenly missed my friends so badly, I actually felt like I might cry. I didn't, but the possibility of tears was very real.

The feeling passed, and I had a wonderful experience in Virginia, but I just remember how melancholy I felt just by hearing that silly sentence.

Being rather sick at the moment (the snot factory is still in full production), I feel somewhat on the irritable side. So, I will take a clue from Becca's blog, and make a list of those things that really drive me crazy.

Things that drive me crazy
1. Redundancy (hahaha, damn I'm funny)
2. Snoring husbands
3. Snoring dogs under my bed
4. Doing all the dishes, then finding 10 empty cups and bowls in Kiri's room
5. People who drive across the country without doing any research what so ever on the places they wish to visit.
6. Rude flight attendants
7. squeeking Styrofoam cups or plates
8. Any kind of clicking, snapping, or beeping noises
9. People touching my face. I know that's sad, but for some reason when someone touches my face, it pisses me off
10. People invading my personal space. My friends have worked hard to cure me of this, and I can finally hug my friends freely, but there was a time when that made me very uncomfortable. Mostly now it only bothers me when people I don't know very well invade my personal space. I still can not stand to get a massage. Too much touching and closeness by total strangers.
11. Bad tippers. I've been a waitress, I know how hard it is, and even the best waitress has a bad day. And many times, bad service can be the fault of the cook, not the server. So, no matter what I always tip well.
12. Someone correcting my grammar. I actually have a great vocabulary, and very good grammar, but sometimes when I am excited or stressed, my grammar reverts to small town Utah talk. It also seems to be that the person who is correcting the grammar wishes to prove how much smarter they are than you, and I really hate smug grammar correctors.
13. When someone puts in a music CD, and doesn't listen to it completely or in order. I don't know why this bothers me, but it is along the same lines that once I start a book, I finish it, and I don't skip ahead. I must listen to a CD all the way through without skipping songs, or it bothers me.

So, now you all think I am a cranky bitch. Here are a few things that make me happy, just to even things out a little.

1. Buying t-shirts with cute sayings on them
2. Loosing 5 pounds
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. Lusting after unattainable movie stars.
5. Boxes of wine
6. People who ask me questions about snakes, and are really interested in what I have to say
7. Seeing a black rat snake in Virginia
8. All of my fabulous friends, and their wonderful daughters.
9. Reading all of your blogs, and laughing out loud. You are all a witty bunch.
10. Riding my horse
11. Calling my brother when I'm drunk, and making him laugh.
12. Reading Jane Austen over and over
13. Brushing my daughters hair, though she doesn't let me do it very often any more.

I'm back, from outer space...er, Virginia

2005-08-04T08:36:00.000-06:00

HELLO!!!!!! I'm back. God, it is good to be home. What a trip. I can hardly think where to begin. Well, I guess I'll begin at the beginning.

The Boy Scout Jamboree, by kosihoho

The plane ride over to Virginia was uneventful. I did see the Washington monument from the plane as we were landing, but never had the time to visit much. I was picked up at the airport by my old friend Bruce, with whom I used to work with. I was wandering around with my stupid Park service ball cap on, hoping someone would see it and think "oh, there is the girl I'm supposed to pick up at the airport." Someone very smart was in charge, and sent the one other jamboree participant who would recognize me. Bruce is a great guy, and it was a lot of fun to work with him again.

As it turned out, the smart someone in charge was a funny lady named Jodi. What is really mindblowing is that she and I look a lot alike. Eerily alike. I'm Kodi, she's Jodi. Both Park Service employees, both Leave no Trace master educators. We're both short with cute little pixie noses, and blue eyes. Same build, same crazy hair (mine is colored blond however), same interests, like the same books and movies. People kept asking us if we were sisters, or would think we were the same person, and be all confused when I didn't know what the hell they were talking about because they had discussed it with Jodi. I finally met my twin in the world. It was very cool, and we became good friends immediately.

I didn't sleep well the first night due to nerves, and got up at 6:00 a.m. the next day (4:00 a.m. my time) a little groggy. We drove to the fort where the jamboree was held and got all of our stuff together and waited for the scouts to arrive. And boy did they arrive. Droves of boy scouts, all eager and cute in their uniforms. I have to say, my opinion of boy scouts has changed a little, after meeting so many eager, happy, well mannered scouts over the week.

When I got back to the hotel the first day of the Jamboree, I turned on the news and saw the story on the 4 scout leaders killed there. It was heartbreaking, and you could see a change in the scouts the next day. They were quieter, sadder, and somewhat somber. My heart really goes out to those poor men who were killed, and the poor boys who watched their fathers or leaders die right in front of them.

During my discussions with the boy scouts, I never really had much of a break throughout the day. When I had to pee, I would signal to someone to come take over my station, then I would have to walk a half a mile to the bathroom. So that's a mile roundtrip to pee, and no time for lunch. I would get back to the hotel ravenous and tired, so then would commence to plowing through a huge dinner and then collapsing on the bed.

Wednesday was my birthday, and we worked until 3:00 p.m. that day. They cut the exhibits short because the President was supposed to be coming. They visitors and boy scouts had to arrive at the open grassy field they called "the arena" 3 hours early and sit in the blazing sun forever, because the prez. wouldn't even leave Washington until everyone was seated. It takes a while to get 75,000 people through security and seated. The consequences of this stupid move on the organizers part was that 300 people dropped from heat exhaustion and had to be airlifted out of the base. For crying out loud, people! Use your goddamned brains for once. It was like 98 degrees and 70% humidity, so the heat index was somewhere around 115 degrees. What could they have possibly been thinking? I was very glad I decided to not go see the president, because I was not used to the humidity and already thought I would melt earlier in the day. A bunch of brainless assholes. And the President didn't even show up, he canceled.

For my birthday, Jodi took me to the movie that night. We saw The Island, with Ewan Mcgreggor. Wish I was on an island with Ewan Mcgreggor.

After an exhausting yet, I feel, a very fulfilling week, I'm finally home. I met Kiri at the Salt Lake airport with my sister in law, and the two of us flew home on a little tiny plane. I feel pretty good this morning, other than I now have a raging head cold and have become, apparently, a snot producing factory. I am now going to call my friend Becca and give her a birthday gift I found in Virginia, and find out why the hell she isn't blogging anymore.

Thank you all for worrying about me while I was gone. I am fine, and happy to be home. I will definitely go again in 2010 for the next jamboree, if they invite me.

My inconsistent ramblings

2005-07-22T20:02:00.000-06:00

This will probably be my last post until I get back from the Boy Scout Jamboree in Virginia. I should rename my blog to inconsistent ramblings, as I seem to only blog once a week. Often times I sit in front of the computer, and can't think of a thing to say. Being a Leo, I am compelled to be witty and wise at all times so as to remain the center of attention. If I can't think of anything incredibly funny or poignant, I tend not to blog at all.

I had a question in my comments from NME about my trip to Europe. So, here goes.

Last September, Kiri, myself, my brother, his wife, their son, and my grandmother all went to Norway. My grandmother was born and raised in Norway. She lived through the Nazi occupation as a teenager, enduring many tragic and horrific things. After the war, my grandmother and grandfather got married and (as usually happens) got pregnant. At that time, because of the devastation of the war, the Norwegian economy was in ruins, and there was no food. They toughed it out for several years, but things didn't get better. So, in the belief that life would be better and easier in America, they moved to the United States.

I am very proud of my Norwegian heritage, and we got this wild hair to all travel together and see the place where my mother was born and my grandmother grew up. It was fabulous. I really am at a loss for words at the beauty of the country. We saw Viking boats dating back before Christ, we saw wooden Christian churches dating back to 1100 A.D. We visited relatives I have heard of but never met. We rode on ferries touring the fjords. I saw so many waterfalls, my eyeballs almost bugged out of my head. As this was probably the last time my 83 year old grandmother would see her homeland, the trip was all the more precious. That my daughter could experience her heritage with her grandmother was truly incredible. I only wish I could've seen Norway with my mother.

My mother has Lupus, and can't travel. She still speaks fluent Norwegian, and remembers her 5 short years living there. She never got her U.S citizenship, because she really does consider herself a Norwegian living in the U.S. She has gone back to Norway a few times before she became sick. I hope someday when she is well she can go back again, but I don't know if that will ever happen.

Sorry to end on a depressing note. I'll blog again when I get back, and I promise to be witty and upbeat the whole time.

I miss my sweet girl

2005-07-18T13:52:00.000-06:00

I just got back from dropping my daughter off at my parents house. She'll be with them for a week, then she's going to Northern Utah with my brother for a week. That totals 2 whole weeks without my sweet girl. I miss her terribly already. I miss the way she makes me laugh, I miss her silly stories, I miss our deep serious talks, and I sorta miss yelling at her to clean her room.

Kiri is very excited though, because when I fly into Salt Lake City from Virginia in 2 weeks, she is going to meet me at the SLC airport and we are flying the last leg home together. She loved when we flew all over the place when we went to Europe, and is looking forward to a short fight on a "puddle jumper" plane rather than a big huge plane. I must remember to take my motion sickness pills with me, or I will be miserable the whole time, especially on that little plane.

I get to spend my birthday working in Virginia. I think I'll make my old work buddy Bruce take me to the tavern on my birthday and have a few drinks with me. I also need to look for cool unique presents for my mother's birthday, Kelli's birthday, and Becca's birthday (though I already got Becca a t-shirt of The Cure, I think I'll look for some Civil War something or other for her while I'm back east. Shhhh, don't tell her, its a secret!).

On Friday they are shooting a commercial in the Park for the Honda Goldwing. Which is a motorcycle I think. I get to do traffic control during the shoot, so that will be fun. I will also work a 13 hour day, which I haven't done since I was in my 20s. Should be interesting, and I am looking forward to it in spite of the long hours.

I think I will call Becca, and see what's up.

Fire, fire

2005-07-15T17:41:00.000-06:00

There is a fire in the Park. I drove up the road during a dry thunderstorm, and lo and behold, there was a fire. I called dispatch on the radio to report it, and stayed at work a little longer to monitor it. It is way cool when the helicopters fly over and dump gigantic buckets of water on the fires. Unfortunately this year I didn't get my red card to fight fires. I usually do, but when they call me on a fire they want a two week commitment. I have a teenage daughter. I can't be away from home for two weeks. So, I decided to not be a (sometimes, on rare occasions) wildland firefighter anymore.

Kiri and I are going to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tonight. I'm looking forward to it, with all its crazy oddball-ness of Burton and Depp. I'll let you know if it is good or not.

I'm getting ready for my trip to Virginia in a week. Kiri is spending two weeks with my parents while I'm gone. It should be fun, sort of. I will love seeing Virginia for the first time, and visiting all those Civil War Parks in the area. Maybe I'll even get to dress in Civil War regalia and drink ale in a tavern. But, the thought of teaching 50,000 Boy Scouts about Leave No Trace at the national jamboree is a little daunting. Boy Scouts are the bane of a Park Ranger's existence. Every year I deal with boy scouts chopping down trees in the Park (illegal), starting fires (really illegal), catching snakes and lizards (illegal and pisses me off), vandalizing Native American sites (stupid and illegal), getting lost (not the kids fault, but really idiotic leaders), picking flowers - carving names in trees - littering-and generally making nuisances of themselves. The Boy Scout program is a wonderful tool for boys to learn to love the outdoors, but the leaders don't inspire any standard of land stewardship or ethic. They think they can do what they want. And so, now when I hike in some of my favorite places, I see wreck and ruin. WE have a responsibility to preserve the wild places so our children can experience them in the same condition that we did. And a responsibility to teach our children to love, enjoy and protect the few pristine wilderness areas our country has left. If people continue to cut down trees in our National Parks, litter, and poach, VERY soon there will be nothing left. It truly makes me want to weep.

Sorry, I am now off of my soap box.

So, it's off to Virginia next week, and I hope I can make a difference in some small way. God, I love my job.

I was getting coffee the other morning at a gas station before work, and this fellow saw me in uniform. He approached me and asked how the fishing was at Navajo Lake. I get this question all the time. I used to get irritated and tell them that I was a Park Ranger not a Forest Ranger or a Fish and Game Warden. But, I now realize that most people don't know the difference. Our uniforms are similar, and unless you work for a Federal or State land agency, you really wouldn't see a difference. So, now I check up on all the local fishing area updates. When asked, I smile prettily and tell them "the fishing is really good at Navajo right now."

Even my mother gets it wrong. Last month I heard her tell a friend that I was a Forest Ranger. It is somewhat irritating, as I have been a Park Ranger for 8 years now. She also tells people that I am the Wildlife Biologist for the Park, which is completely untrue, but it makes her look good in her friend's eyes. I guess since I didn't pursue my original goal of being a Veterinarian, nothing is quite good enough for her. Whatever. It doesn't bother me any more. I love her anyway.

Well, I'm off to the movies. Love to all, and don't forget ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES (which is from the Forest Service mascot Smokey Bear. not Smokey the Bear, that is wrong. It's just Smokey Bear. No the in the middle. Park Service doesn't have a mascot. I'll have to create one someday.)

Friends, vodka, camping, and general panic

2005-07-13T21:19:00.000-06:00

It's official. I'm a blog slacker. I can't seem to make time to hit the computer after work. Things should get better now, though. We put the horses in the mountain pasture, so I don't have to feed them every night. So, here I am, finally blogging again, and I have much to report.

Friday Becca and I went over to Jen's house for a candle party (not Jen's, but a friend). We decided after one cosmopolitan to bag the candle party and just hang. We commenced to the drinking of much vodka. It was fun, though I had to work the next day with a slight headache and massive sleep deprivation.

So, I made it through Saturday, and my weekend finally started. We decided to take the horses up to the mountain pasture, as it was a very wet year and it is HORSE PARADISE right now. The grass is belly high to a Lightning dog. That's what my husband said, anyway. Actually it was belly high to Andre the Giant. Anyway, I decided to camp out that night on the mountain with the horses, just to make sure they adjust to the new digs. Ken had to work the next day, leaving the camping to Kiri and I. We pitched a tent, roasted hot dogs, and marshmallows, told stories, and laughed our butts off. Then we decided to ride the horses before it got too dark. We were riding around, enjoying ourselves when this truck drives through the pasture. It's this dude with sheep on the other side of us, and he uses our road to access his animals. He stops and asks Kiri and I if we were riding the horses out that night. I told him that the horses were staying in the pasture for the rest of the summer, so please make sure he closes the gate after him. He leaves.

Kiri and I spend more time around the camp fire, which was a rare thing for me because I teach and practice Leave No Trace outdoor ethics, and camp fires are one of the worst things you can do to trash a pristine environment. My husband feels this is hogwash, so he made us a fire in spite of my misgivings. And it was fun, though I made sure everything was burned to ash and cleaned up all our trash. Finally, around midnight we climb in the tent and try to sleep. But Kiri and I had the giggles, and she kept quoting Austin Powers, asking me if I wanted a "smoke and a pancake". Every time she said it with a Sean Connery accent, I would bust up laughing. A good hour later, we fell asleep.

A painful need to pee woke me up around 6 am. We got up, ate some pudding for breakfast, then went to look for the horses. Guess what? NO HORSES. I drive up the road and that fucking bastard from the night before had left the gate open after I asked him to close it. The horses could be anywhere on the mountain at this point. Kiri is in tears, I'm raging mad and worried sick. I tell Kiri to start walking one way, and I'll go the other then to turn around after a half and hour and meet back up. We walk and walk and walk. Then we drive and drive and drive. Still no horses. After 2 hours, I tell Kiri that the horses have to be in the pasture. That is where the water is. The pasture, mind you, is huge. So we go back to the pasture. Kiri walks one way, I walk the other. After climbing up a steep ass ridge line in cowboy boots (not good for hiking) for about 45 minutes, I find the damn horses. They were there the whole time, the bastards, probably watching us run around like crazy panicked morons looking for them. What a relief. So we go riding again and head home. I told my father in law about the fucker that left the gate open and he called the guy and chewed his ass. I've never seen my father in law angry before, and I was glad it wasn't directed at me.

All in all, it was a great weekend, with some good bonding moments for Kiri and I. It was nice to have just the two of us stuck together in the woods, forced to amuse one another and remember how much we like hanging out.

I think I'll go have a smoke and a pancake.

Funny Visitor Question:
Visitor: when do the self-guided tours start?
Ranger: uh, whenever you tell yourself to start them.

Least Favorite Holiday

2005-07-02T20:37:00.000-06:00

The fourth of July has always been my least favorite holiday. Here are the reasons why.

1. I like to sleep. I like to sleep a lot, and I get extremely annoyed when all the stupid fuckers in my town feel the need to set off fireworks throughout the fucking night. The big town display is okay, some safe legal private fireworks before and after... okay, UNTIL the clock strikes midnight. After that anyone letting off fireworks should have a bottle rocket shoved up their bum. I usually have to work the next day, so my fuse is very short when it comes to interruptions of my much treasured sleep.

2. Fourth of July means it's time for the big Family Reunion for my in-laws. I love my Mother and Father-in-law, however I am NOTHING like the rest of the in-law family. I don't know how to talk to them, and they feel the same about me. I am a liberal in a sea of conservatives. I am a agnostic in the Mormon temple. I am a environmentalists in a jungle of consumers. I am a girl with a tattoo and a nose ring surrounded by slacks and modest shirts. I wear little to no makeup, and just let my hair hang loose and natural. They wear massive amounts of makeup, perfume, and have big hair with lots of hairspray. I would rather go home and sleep.

3. I never get to do what I want to do on the fourth. Someone will make demands of me that I would rather not do, but feel obligated to do anyway. For instance, my husband will want me to spend the day with his family, which is okay, but I'd rather spend it with my friends drinking wine and singing karaoke. Or my daughter will want me to drive her all over the place from one activity to the next. That's okay too, but I'd rather read my book. Or my step kids will want to go fishing. Fishing is fun, but I end up cooking the fish for dinner that night for everyone, which also means a trip to the much hated grocery store, and of course no one helps me carry the groceries into the house or put them away. I'd rather play backgammon with Becca or go hiking with Jen.

4. Can't think of a four, but will reiterate how much I hate the stupid bastards that keep me up all night with fireworks when I have to wake up at 6:00 a.m. for work.

As you can see, I am in a really cranky mood tonight. I plan on sleeping in, then drinking coffee and reading my book tomorrow. I am looking forward to the BBQ with friends tomorrow night, but even then I have the dreaded 4th looming, knowing that Monday will be misery.
I need to work on my temper and my lack of tolerance. Or maybe I will get the stomach flu, and have an excuse to lay around all day instead.

Movie madness

2005-06-30T07:11:00.000-06:00

I took Kiri and 2 of her friends to see "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" last night. It was a very cute movie, and Brad Pitt was adorable in it. I want to fight Brad, and roll around on the floor until we have an incredible aggressive kiss and start knocking things off the counter to have wild sex.

The funny thing was Kiri didn't want me to go with them. She threw attitude at me, saying I could see it some other night. I told her I really wanted to see it, and as I was already taking her and her friends, I might as well go as well. So then she comes up with a brilliant plan of me dropping her and her friends off at the theatre, then driving away and coming back 5 minutes later to then sneak into the theatre so her friends wouldn't see me. I told her it was ridiculous. When we got there, one of her friends was short on cash, so I went to the box office and bought everyone's tickets, including one for me, and just marched into the theatre. Kiri shot me a beseeching look, but I ignored her and had a great time, even though I sat all by myself (by choice) so her and her friends could giggle and talk without me hearing every word. She's a funny kid. I remember the days when she would cry if I didn't take her to the damn grocery store, or forced me to go see those seriously miserable Pokemon movies. It's sad yet also heartening to see her becoming such an independent woman.

I read her middle school year book and was shocked. There were several entries by boys mentioning the size of her boobs. My God! No one said anything like that to me in middle school and I had pretty big boobs. Well, once someone called me anonymously to tell me I had the biggest boobs in school, but no one dared write it down and sign their name after. I am dreading when Kiri gets into High School.

Love to all.

Sunday, Lazy Sunday

2005-06-26T10:32:00.000-06:00

I slept in until 9:30 this morning. Damn that felt good. I have a relatively clean house, the dishes are done, the laundry is finished, the carpet has been vacuumed. What shall I do for the rest of the day? Hmmmmmm. Maybe I'll go rent some movies and spend the day on the couch. Or maybe I'll go eat a sandwich at the new deli in town. So many decisions.

I will definitely go horse riding this afternoon when it isn't blazing hot. I have a major farmers tan happening, and I was telling my friends that I was going to go riding with a tank top and even things out a little. Some expressed their opinions on the intelligence of intentional burning of the skin, others gave me advice on the best way to tan and NOT burn terribly. I love my friends. Becca gave me a bumper sticker that reads "My friends kick ass". How true.

We made it to the Sportsman for karaoke on Friday. It was a hoot. I only got to sing one song, because I work on Saturday and had to get up early, so I felt like a party pooper. I REALLY wanted to stay longer and sing some more, and hear my friends sing, but my sense of responsibility made me go home after a couple drinks and a song and get some sleep so I could be cheery, happy, not hungover Ranger Kodi. BLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!(that was supposed to be the sound of a big raspberry).

I plan on going over and seeing Becca today. Happy happy happy Sunday.

2005-06-21T19:12:00.000-06:00

Sorry. Not much to write about today. Other than the fact that my daughter can manipulate me on a regular basis to get what she wants. I try to resist, but her arguments are well thought out, and I find myself thinking "Hmmm, that makes sense" then I let her do what I told her 20 minutes ago she couldn't do. She wants me to treat her more like an adult, and is very hurt when she feels I don't trust her. There are certain rules that are unbreakable, her curfew for one, but others are more like guidelines than rules (I totally stole that from Pirates of the Caribbean). So when I say no sleepovers on weekdays, that really means, because of the huge sucker that I am, that she can have a sleepover in the middle of the week on a regular basis.

Just stamp "gigantic Pushover" on my forehead.

However, I find that Kiri is generally responsible, and my trust is validated. I need to be more firm with her however. I don't like feeling like a bulldozer just ran over all my credibility. I have to have SOME authority, for crying out loud. Wish my parents had been as cool as I am. Thank God she doesn't have access to my bank account. Hahahahahahaha.

I hate heavy furniture

2005-06-20T08:04:00.000-06:00

This weekend we moved out our old dressers and computer desk, and moved in new stuff. It was very heavy, and I used very foul language many times. Once my husband smashed my hand between the dresser and the door frame, and I struggled not to call him a fucking bastard. I told him to slow down and quit pushing, but he just figures he can muscle the damn thing through the door. Finally it was done.

My step-son and his girlfriend showed up around 6 p.m. and I got completely trashed on wine. Feeling a little hung over this morning. I am watching Sophie for Becca, and thank God I only have to hang out with this sweet girl for most of the day instead of moving more furniture. She is such a cute kid. We always have a good time together.

I still need to go to the store and find a computer desk today. I know that whatever I pick out, I'll have to put the damn thing together. I could wait for Ken to come home from work, but I am the type of person that wants to get things done and over with. No waiting! So I'm sure I will end up doing it myself, and be in a crappy mood for a while after. Why can't things come already assembled? Why is that so hard? I am not a carpenter, for Christ's sake, I want my desk to be ready to just throw in the fucking room, instead of sorting out boards and fucking screws for two hours.

As you can see, I am not really looking forward to more furniture shit today.

Funny visitor question
Visitor: I need a vehicle pass.
Ranger Kodi: Are you going to any other National Parks on your vacation?
Visitor: There's more than one?

Sweet Wilderness

2005-06-14T19:58:00.000-06:00

So, I'm back. The backpack was super fun. There were a few set backs, however. We didn't hit the trail until 3:00 p.m. because I had to do a program for 75 children at 1:00 on Friday. I got that finished (whew!), threw my stuff in my bag and met Amanda on the trail. It was a pleasant hike in, nice and cloudy with a little breeze. We hiked about 5 miles in to our campsite. Jared was waiting there already (he had packed in the night before). We cooked our dinner, discussing Leave No Trace techniques until bedtime. What is it about eating in the outdoors? EVERYTHING tastes good. I could eat rocks with cheese, and it would taste good in the wilderness.

During my discussion, I felt something crawling on my foot. I thought it was an ant, and didn't worry about it, and kept lecturing. It crawled between my toes, and I clenched my toes together. I looked down, and there was big black spider legs sticking out between my toes. Yeck!!!! Jared thought it was hilarious. I just calmly cleaned the spider guts out of my toes, and continued my lesson.

That night I was sleeping in the tent, and having terrible dreams. I dreamed all these people were hiking the trail, and breaking the rules and I couldn't stop them. It was very stressfully.

The next morning, it started raining, and it rained and rained and rained and rained. We hiked out in mud and muck, soaked to the skin and I loved every bleeding minute of it. I was pure mud from the knees down, and my fleece jacket was so soaked I had to keep ringing it out as I hiked.

I slept well in my own bed Saturday night, after a wonderful party with my friends. I was stiff and sore, but very content. Sunday morning, Kiri and I saddled up the horses and went for a ride. It was fabulous. However, any muscles that weren't sore before the horseback ride, were screaming for mercy after. All in all a wonderful weekend. I took my friend Jennifer's daughter riding on Monday, but I let Kiri and her ride while I smoked cigarettes in secret behind the shed.

My house is dirty and the laundry is piling up, but I don't care. I had a great weekend.

Hittin' the trail

2005-06-09T21:17:00.000-06:00

So, I finally got the pic's of my new horse. Isn't she great! As I mentioned in my last blog, we had a great time at my parent's house. My dad is remodeling the house, so my mother is going to stay with me for a week while the walls are torn out of the kitchen. Whooo Hoooo. I haven't spent more than a few consecutive days with my mom for a long time. It will certainly be fun, and interesting.

I'm heading out into the backcountry for an overnight hike tomorrow. I do a Leave No Trace training trip every year for new employees. I love hiking. And I love getting paid to hike. I have to admit, I miss Kiri terribly while I'm gone. I usually look forward to getting a big Mountain Dew and seeing my child (in that order) when I finally get off the trail on an overnight trip.

I am also inordinately proud of all my scars obtained from stupid and daring things I have done in my life. When I drink too much, I usually start showing everyone my assortment of bruises, scrapes, sprains, and scars. I'm sure my friends are very tired of it, but for some reason it makes me feel like superwoman to have done the things I have and survived them. I suppose I'm arrogant and obnoxious, but well, when the booze is flowing in my veins, I make my friends suffer through yet another telling of the time I hiked four miles out of Ash Creek with a severely sprained ankle. Or the time I got bucked off my horse when I was twelve, and shattered all 6 of my front teeth. I feel the need to prove I'm not getting old. I am strong, damnit. Just not too smart, and I have terrible luck. And still , I ride horses and hike inspite of my many mishaps. Sorry to all my dear friends who deal with my arrogance on a weekly basis, ohhhing and ahhhing appropriately at my iron woman toughness. I love ya for feeding my foolish self absorption. I usually come to my senses quickly, and you are more than welcome to tell me to shut up.

I'll blog again on Sunday, complaining of being sore and tired, yet secretly hoping you will all tell me I'm wonderful.

God, I'm so insecure it is sickening.

2005-06-09T21:15:00.000-06:00

Beautiful!

2005-06-09T21:14:00.000-06:00

Me and my gorgeous new horse

2005-06-09T21:13:00.000-06:00

Kiri playing with my new horse, Mimi

2005-06-09T21:12:00.000-06:00

Kiri's impersonation of Paris Hilton

2005-06-09T21:11:00.001-06:00

Kiri with bad allergies

2005-06-09T21:11:00.000-06:00

Kiri and I swimming, baby

2005-06-09T21:09:00.000-06:00

My father, Reed, singing "Hot Stuff"

2005-06-09T21:08:00.000-06:00

My brother Shane singing karaoke

Booze, Sun, Family, and Horses

2005-06-06T09:49:00.000-06:00

Wow. I haven't posted anything in a while. Becca says I'm a total blog slacker, which is quite true. I keep meaning to post, then get caught up in other things, and well, that's my lame excuse.

I have so much to talk about. It has been a very interesting week. Memorial Day sucked. It was busy as hell, and we were short on staff. I ended up only getting one day off that week. However, I took the following Saturday off for a fun-filled 3 day weekend at my parents house. My brother was also visiting my folks, so it ended up being somewhat of a rare family get together.

First off, before I even left town, I had to get the horse trailer. My parents had given Kiri a horse for her birthday clear back in January, and we still hadn't picked her up. Kiri was very anxious to get her horse, so I decided this trip was an excellent excuse to bring horses home. I was borrowing my dad's older horse to ride with her for a while. So, I'm completely stressed trying to get horse trailer, clothes, games, gifts, tent(we were sleeping outside), food, and all the other items involved with a trip to see the fam. Fortunately, I thought to bring the xbox. More on that in a minute.

Finally we hit the road, trailer in tow. It's a glorious afternoon. I finally arrive at my folks house 2 hours later, and my brother is already there with his ginormous camp trailer (spoiled brat). I hadn't seen my brother Shane in a while, so was super pleased to see he was already there. AND lo and behold, my dad had bought a big pool and was filling it up as I pulled in. YIPEE. It also happens to be Shane's birthday as well, and he shows me the cool portable DVD player my parents had given him. I commence to tell him that he has always been the golden boy of the family and gets the best gifts. Totally teasing of course, my folks had given me a washer and dryer a while back, so I really wasn't complaining. Then I go over to the barn to see the new little baby horse. He was only a week old and totally adorable. As I'm there I notice a new horse. She's gorgeous. Black and white paint with perfect conformation and a pretty little head. I walk over to her and she's friendly as hell. She sniffs my hair and licks my face, spreading goobers all over me, but I really don't care. I very casually joke to my brother that I wish my parents would give me this horse instead of the old one I'm borrowing. Then my dad walks up and asks me if I like his new mare. I tell him yes in no uncertain terms. Then he says "Well, Kodi, we bought her for you. She's yours." HOLY SHIT. I have a new horse. A GORGEOUS HORSE!!!!!!!! Hurray. Then I feel a little guilty about complaining about the old horse, and calling Shane the golden boy.

So complete bliss. We hop in the pool and progress to the drinking of much alcohol. I break out the Xbox, and my Karaoke Revolution. We are all having a blast singing and drinking. My dad, who is completely tone deaf, starts singing "Looking for some Hot Stuff" I have never laughed so hard in my life! My 61 year old very religious father singin looking for some hot stuff baby this evening totally off key was the funniest thing I had seen in a long time.

So needless to say, it was a great trip. I'm glad to be home. I took some snapshots of the new horse, and will post them soon.

Funny Visitor Questions:
"Are there any hiking trails I can take my car on?"(no, hence the important word HIKING)
"Do Eagle Scouts get into the Parks for free?"(no, we charge them double)
"Is there anything else I can do with my kids in the Park besides driving and hiking?" (no, our roller coaster isn't finished yet)
"Is it worth driving up the scenic drive?" (hmmmm, well since they usually make national parks in the ugliest places, it probably isn't worth it)

Smells like Teen Spirit

2005-05-25T19:34:00.000-06:00

When my daughter takes a bath, I find it amazing that she doesn't wash her makeup off. I mean, seriously, how many coats of mascara can you keep putting on your lashes before they fall out? I guess I shouldn't complain, she used to not bathe at all. I had to physically force her into the tub, clear up until she was 11. It's an improvement. However, I wonder, if she doesn't wash her face when she showers, what else isn't she washing? I've seen her underwear. I wash them all the time. Her nether regions definitely NEED a good scrub on a regular basis. But she won't let me see her naked anymore, and would be horrified if I tried to suggest she wash "down there". I guess as long as I can't smell her, then I won't worry about it. She does wear too much perfume too. Crickey.

Work went fairly well today. I think I am finally pulling out of my slump. I got everything done that I needed to, with no stress or problems. Things will be crazy this memorial day weekend. Isn't it funny that on a holiday that we are supposed to remember those close to us who have passed on, we all decide to invade the forests and parks instead? I guess my grandpa would have rather we have fun as a family than mope around his grave. Unfortunately, I have to work on the big summer holidays, so I get to deal with the massive amounts of people visiting the Park. Many of whom are lost, or think they can get from one end of the state to the other in 2 hours. I often get a look of shock and dismay when I tell them the nearest restaurant heading south is 25 miles away. What, no McDonald on every corner? This is America, damn it! But, I love my job, so again, I really shouldn't complain.

Funny Visitor Quote of the Day
"So, this is a Scenic Drive? Is it scenic?"

Love to you all.