I just watched the pilot of the tv show "Fringe". It was good. I liked it. I also could predict just about every plot line, but then I'm a huge geek and watch way too much sci-fi for my own good. It reminded me a lot of X-files. Or twilight zone. But all in all quite enjoyable.
I have to go back to work tomorrow after 7 days off. I don't feel ready. I didn't do any of the projects I had assigned for myself during this mini vaycay. Oh, well. I enjoyed the down time. I watched a lot of movies and tv on dvd. I re-read the Fellowship of the Ring, and will start on the Two Towers next. I usually read the trilogy every year, cuz again Big Geek.
When I scheduled my time off from work, everyone asked me what I was going to do, and if I was going anywhere fun. It made me feel a little silly taking time off to read and watch movies. Like it was a waste of good vacation time. But I don't have the funds to travel over seas, so this, in my mind is the next best thing.
So, raise your glass to all of the hermits in the world, and the Big Geeks. We prove that you don't have to go to Mexico to have a fabulous vacation.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
remember me, the crazy lady?
So, I guess I'm back. I had to do something so that last post wasn't the last you ever heard of me. Things are better. Not great but better. I don't drink so much anymore, though I still haven't kicked the smoking habit. There is always such good excuses to keep on puffing.
I moved into a new little house, which I adore. Now if my teenager would just pick up after herself, I would invite friends over more often. But I'm tired of being a maid to my child. I had a child solely for the purpose to fetch and carry for me and force her to do menial tasks. But alas, it is I that fetches, carries, cleans, cooks, shops and provides endless entertainment for the teen. It's just not right. I did all those things for my parents and I have earned the servitude of my child for at least 18 years. Such is life.
That reminds me of a quote from a tv show I have been watching lately. The show is "Weeds" and the main character, the suburban queen of bud, has just told her dealer that something wasn't fair. The dealer turns and says "fare is what you pay to get on the bus. That's the only fare I know of."
I have also been watching "Dexter", "Battlestar Galactica", "Tudors" and "MXC" all thanks to the magic that is netflix. I got rid of my satellite dish and now just watch DVD's when I am bored. I LOVE IT!
Well, I hope all you bloggers and friends have a good night. It's 2 a.m. and I need a smoke.
Love ya.
I moved into a new little house, which I adore. Now if my teenager would just pick up after herself, I would invite friends over more often. But I'm tired of being a maid to my child. I had a child solely for the purpose to fetch and carry for me and force her to do menial tasks. But alas, it is I that fetches, carries, cleans, cooks, shops and provides endless entertainment for the teen. It's just not right. I did all those things for my parents and I have earned the servitude of my child for at least 18 years. Such is life.
That reminds me of a quote from a tv show I have been watching lately. The show is "Weeds" and the main character, the suburban queen of bud, has just told her dealer that something wasn't fair. The dealer turns and says "fare is what you pay to get on the bus. That's the only fare I know of."
I have also been watching "Dexter", "Battlestar Galactica", "Tudors" and "MXC" all thanks to the magic that is netflix. I got rid of my satellite dish and now just watch DVD's when I am bored. I LOVE IT!
Well, I hope all you bloggers and friends have a good night. It's 2 a.m. and I need a smoke.
Love ya.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
My so called life
I will be honest with you all. I am drunk. At this very moment I am drunk-blogging. So, take it or leave it, the things that will follow are heavily influenced by alcohol.
I am totally fucked up. I am a fuck up. Anyone who knows me knows what a totaly loser I am.
I haven't filed for divorce yet, even though I do not love my husband. He is a shit, and I should hate him. Instead I feel this fucked up sense of obligation to the man I spent the last 13 years with. I don't want to hurt anyone, so instead I just drag things on until they implode.
I drink too much. I smoke too much. My daughter hates me. My mom has cancer. I just want to cry.
I wish.....I wish I were different. I wish I were as strong as I thought I was. I am weak. I am a coward. Sometimes, when I am not numb or drunk, I hate myself. I can't sleep, or eat, or do anything productive. What the hell use am I, anyway?
Sorry. I also apologize too much.
Nevermind. I'm just drunk.
I am totally fucked up. I am a fuck up. Anyone who knows me knows what a totaly loser I am.
I haven't filed for divorce yet, even though I do not love my husband. He is a shit, and I should hate him. Instead I feel this fucked up sense of obligation to the man I spent the last 13 years with. I don't want to hurt anyone, so instead I just drag things on until they implode.
I drink too much. I smoke too much. My daughter hates me. My mom has cancer. I just want to cry.
I wish.....I wish I were different. I wish I were as strong as I thought I was. I am weak. I am a coward. Sometimes, when I am not numb or drunk, I hate myself. I can't sleep, or eat, or do anything productive. What the hell use am I, anyway?
Sorry. I also apologize too much.
Nevermind. I'm just drunk.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Upside Down and Backwards
I have been debating whether to post about what is happening in my life, but as I can't sleep anymore EVER, I decided what the hell. Post God damn it. So. I turned 36 on July 27th, and I left my husband almost 2 months ago. I will be 36 and divorced twice. Single mom again. But in reality, I have always been a single mom. I accept my failings in that department. I never let my husband really be a Dad to Kiri, but then he never tried very hard anyway.
Fuck.
Okay, I'm done talking about that.
Lets talk about funny, possibly gay Italian men visiting my Park and wanting me to be in their strange topless and oiled picture (they were topless and oiled, I was strictly following uniform standards and kept my shirt on). These incredibly funny, good looking Italian men were at the top of our road, and I happened to be getting off of a hike when they were taking pictures of themselves. They immediately accosted me to be in one of their pictures, and I relented. I talked with them for a good half hour and enjoyed every minute of it. A different funny German tourist took our picture and these guys were hugging me like I was their sister. I say sister because I do believe they were gay, or I just couldn't believe anyone, even strange Italian men, would flirt with my 36 year old self. They had rented a red 2007 Mustang for their vacation and were debating with me as to whether or not they could get to Bryce Canyon in 1 hour instead of the requisite 2. I had a great time.
And again a happy happy birthday to MissuzJ. You rock. I love you.
Now it is time to lay sleepless in my bed again. Goodnight.
Fuck.
Okay, I'm done talking about that.
Lets talk about funny, possibly gay Italian men visiting my Park and wanting me to be in their strange topless and oiled picture (they were topless and oiled, I was strictly following uniform standards and kept my shirt on). These incredibly funny, good looking Italian men were at the top of our road, and I happened to be getting off of a hike when they were taking pictures of themselves. They immediately accosted me to be in one of their pictures, and I relented. I talked with them for a good half hour and enjoyed every minute of it. A different funny German tourist took our picture and these guys were hugging me like I was their sister. I say sister because I do believe they were gay, or I just couldn't believe anyone, even strange Italian men, would flirt with my 36 year old self. They had rented a red 2007 Mustang for their vacation and were debating with me as to whether or not they could get to Bryce Canyon in 1 hour instead of the requisite 2. I had a great time.
And again a happy happy birthday to MissuzJ. You rock. I love you.
Now it is time to lay sleepless in my bed again. Goodnight.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Super Cool!!!!
How cool is this shit??!!! I found this lil beauty in the service road at work. I watched him for about 20 minutes as he ate this squirrel, but he started to get pissy about me hanging around. I was afraid he would regurgitate his meal, so I left him to his dinner in peace. Fucking wicked cool! I can't quit talking about it. I was just...well....COOL!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Roughin' it
I'm enjoying my one day off this week. Doin nuthin. That's right, nothing. No laundry, no dishes, no cooking, no cleaning, nothing. It's sweet heaven.
I went to Boise for a week last month to learn how to "listen". Really to learn how to help someone work through a traumatic situation, like some fatality in the Park. I had to do a lot of role playing, and lead discussions of fictitious events, then get critiqued afterward. One of the criticisms I received was whenever I would begin to speak I would make a soft clicking sound first. A vocal tick much like saying "uh". So, I started paying more attention to the way I speak, and it is true. I click. Especially when I'm nervous. I'm a clicker. Kodi the clicker, that's me. Very humbling.
I then went to Fruita, Colorado in mid April, and am now, officially, a Tread Lightly Master Trainer! So, if you wish to learn how to Tread Lightly, I'm your master.
Next, I get to lead a Leave No Trace Master Educator course for a week. This involves backpacking for 4 days. Ah, hiking in 80 degree weather with a 45 lb pack, cooking dehydrated meals, peeing in the sage brush, drinking and eating sand, crawling into a bivy tent, slipping into your lightweight sleeping bag smelling like sweaty girl, and sleeping on a one inch pad. Only to wake up and repeat. God I love backpacking!!!!!!! Who seriously wouldn't? Makes me feel more alive than anything else in this world.
I'll try and post pictures of my backpack when I return.
I went to Boise for a week last month to learn how to "listen". Really to learn how to help someone work through a traumatic situation, like some fatality in the Park. I had to do a lot of role playing, and lead discussions of fictitious events, then get critiqued afterward. One of the criticisms I received was whenever I would begin to speak I would make a soft clicking sound first. A vocal tick much like saying "uh". So, I started paying more attention to the way I speak, and it is true. I click. Especially when I'm nervous. I'm a clicker. Kodi the clicker, that's me. Very humbling.
I then went to Fruita, Colorado in mid April, and am now, officially, a Tread Lightly Master Trainer! So, if you wish to learn how to Tread Lightly, I'm your master.
Next, I get to lead a Leave No Trace Master Educator course for a week. This involves backpacking for 4 days. Ah, hiking in 80 degree weather with a 45 lb pack, cooking dehydrated meals, peeing in the sage brush, drinking and eating sand, crawling into a bivy tent, slipping into your lightweight sleeping bag smelling like sweaty girl, and sleeping on a one inch pad. Only to wake up and repeat. God I love backpacking!!!!!!! Who seriously wouldn't? Makes me feel more alive than anything else in this world.
I'll try and post pictures of my backpack when I return.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Boot scootin boogie
I was at Becca's house the other night singing CMT karaoke revolution, and she totally rocked that song "Boot Scootin Boogie". I am constantly amazed at how great a singer that girl is.
So, hmmmmm. What's been going on for the last 3 months? Work, Kiri shit, Husband shit, and yet even more work.
Kiri is absofucking driving me crazy lately. She thinks she can do whatever she likes, and when I try to ground her, she just ignores it and still does whatever she likes. EVERY morning is a fight to get her ready for school. I usually drive her the couple blocks to school as it is on my way out to work, but she is always late. When I tell her to hurry, she yells "Shut up" or "I KNOW!!!!" and that pisses me off, so I yell back, and then I end up running late for work and in a foul mood. God, teen girls are beyond aggravating.
I'm heading to Boise, Idaho this month for training. I'll be gone for a week. Then I'll be gone for a week the beginning of April for a conference, THEN I'll be backpacking for a week at the end of April. All this should be fun and exciting, but all I can think of is "What the hell will my daughter be doing while I'm away?" She has no respect for Kendall, so thats no help. I don't know what to do with her. I'm completely drained, and feel like saying "go ahead and fuck your life up". But of course I can't say that, so hence the stress and worry.
Maybe I'm stressing too much. I mean she's not pregnant, and I don't think she's on drugs, and her grades are excellent. But what if I let my guard down, and she gets pregnant and becomes a meth addict? What then?
So, that's my life. Riding herd on a 15 year old brilliant beautiful strong-willed stubborn girl. Lord help me.
So, hmmmmm. What's been going on for the last 3 months? Work, Kiri shit, Husband shit, and yet even more work.
Kiri is absofucking driving me crazy lately. She thinks she can do whatever she likes, and when I try to ground her, she just ignores it and still does whatever she likes. EVERY morning is a fight to get her ready for school. I usually drive her the couple blocks to school as it is on my way out to work, but she is always late. When I tell her to hurry, she yells "Shut up" or "I KNOW!!!!" and that pisses me off, so I yell back, and then I end up running late for work and in a foul mood. God, teen girls are beyond aggravating.
I'm heading to Boise, Idaho this month for training. I'll be gone for a week. Then I'll be gone for a week the beginning of April for a conference, THEN I'll be backpacking for a week at the end of April. All this should be fun and exciting, but all I can think of is "What the hell will my daughter be doing while I'm away?" She has no respect for Kendall, so thats no help. I don't know what to do with her. I'm completely drained, and feel like saying "go ahead and fuck your life up". But of course I can't say that, so hence the stress and worry.
Maybe I'm stressing too much. I mean she's not pregnant, and I don't think she's on drugs, and her grades are excellent. But what if I let my guard down, and she gets pregnant and becomes a meth addict? What then?
So, that's my life. Riding herd on a 15 year old brilliant beautiful strong-willed stubborn girl. Lord help me.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
Turkey, explosive vomitting, and yet more turkey
Thanksgiving at my mother's house was fun, dramatic, tense, delicious, and fantastic. I called Becca and got her fabulous banana cream pie recipe, and took them to the feast. They survived the 2 hour drive to the middle of the freakin desert, which was colder than shit by the way. My brother and his family were already there, so I opened a bottle of wine (risking the wrath of my Great Grandmother whom we call Besse which is Norwegian for Granny) and we waited for the rest of the family.
At one point once everyone had arrived, my mother was running around trying to get everything ready, dropped a glass bowl. The bowl broke, glass went everywhere, my mother cut herself, then she said some pretty bad cuss words I'm sure Mormons are not supposed to say, and then she declared that dinner was ruined and we might as well all go home. I couldn't figure out why she was in such a hurry as there was a minimum of 3 other people helping her get this set up (including myself) and it was almost finished, but instead of getting angry at her, I just cleaned up the glass and laughingly told her now I knew what to get her for Christmas. She calmed down and we commenced with the eating.
I ate too much, then drove home. I went to bed, then woke up around midnight with my gut on fire. I ran to the bathroom, and projectile vomited all over the place, continuing to vomit until it was nothing but dry heaves. THEN, I had to clean up the bathroom, go back to bed, then wake up at 6:00 a.m. to go to work.
No one else got sick, so it wasn't bad food. It was just me over eating I'm guessing.
My step-kids and my little step-granddaughter came over on Saturday and I cooked a whole new Thanksgiving meal. It was delicious, and I didn't barf.
The little grandbaby LOVED Kiri, and wouldn't let her go all night long. My step-daughter suggested that Kiri come live in Vegas with her during the summer and babysit, but I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with that. We'll see.
Hope everyone had a great holiday. Love to all
Kodi
At one point once everyone had arrived, my mother was running around trying to get everything ready, dropped a glass bowl. The bowl broke, glass went everywhere, my mother cut herself, then she said some pretty bad cuss words I'm sure Mormons are not supposed to say, and then she declared that dinner was ruined and we might as well all go home. I couldn't figure out why she was in such a hurry as there was a minimum of 3 other people helping her get this set up (including myself) and it was almost finished, but instead of getting angry at her, I just cleaned up the glass and laughingly told her now I knew what to get her for Christmas. She calmed down and we commenced with the eating.
I ate too much, then drove home. I went to bed, then woke up around midnight with my gut on fire. I ran to the bathroom, and projectile vomited all over the place, continuing to vomit until it was nothing but dry heaves. THEN, I had to clean up the bathroom, go back to bed, then wake up at 6:00 a.m. to go to work.
No one else got sick, so it wasn't bad food. It was just me over eating I'm guessing.
My step-kids and my little step-granddaughter came over on Saturday and I cooked a whole new Thanksgiving meal. It was delicious, and I didn't barf.
The little grandbaby LOVED Kiri, and wouldn't let her go all night long. My step-daughter suggested that Kiri come live in Vegas with her during the summer and babysit, but I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with that. We'll see.
Hope everyone had a great holiday. Love to all
Kodi
Monday, November 06, 2006
That's so EMO
Lately Kiri has been telling me everything is emo. I don't really understand what emo is but it has to do with certain bands like "my chemical romance" and such. So now I use the word all the time and it drives Kiri bananas. That reminds me of that annoying Gwen Stefani song where they sing "is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s!"
Kiri was a punk rocker chick for Halloween, and she went out with her friends to go to the Haunted Hospital. Kendall wasn't feeling well, and went to bed at 7:00p.m. My brother happened to be in town that night, and we got to spend a nice couple of hours eating and talking. It was great to see him again. He is a wonderful brig bruddah. It's so nice to have a teenager in some aspects because I am no longer obliged to trot around the neighborhood with her on Halloween begging for treats. On the other hand, I do have to worry about where she is, what she is doing, and who she is hanging out with. I don't mind her friends, but she does have some boys much older than her that have been sniffing around a bit. I'm not nice to them.
My attitude has been adjusted and I'm enjoying myself at work a lot more now. I just needed a little break from the madness. Things are slowing down, and I'm catching up on some much delayed paperwork.
Did I tell you Kiri has a pet rat? She is very cute and her name is Jellybean. As pets go, rats are pretty easy. Its a cinch to clean up their cage, they don't bite like hamsters, and they are very smart and curious. Jellybean likes to crawl up my arm sleeve and hang out. My husband is completely disgusted by the rat, and won't touch me when I'm holding her.
The pictures I've posted are of my darling girl (who is now a blonde again) and her adorable pet rat jellybean who is apparently attacking Paris in a mousy rage.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Shut up, shut up, shut up, I'll fuck you up
Okay. Time and reality have altered and Jesus is once again on earth in the second coming, or some such, because I'm actually posting a blog. I have no excuses for neglecting my blog other than my life is so predictable, bland, and boring I didn't wish to inflict it on any one else.
For those of you who are KORN fans, you'll recognize the lyrics from my title. The words express everything I am feeling at this moment. It is fucking October 30th, and yet the visitors are still flocking to the Park. I realize I am being irrational, that these people are on a joyous vacation, but I'm burned out with answering the same questions over and over. Winter is my recharge time so that I may greet the masses of people in the Spring with a positive attitude and a polite demeanor. When the 50th person asks me where the bathroom is after they have JUST WALKED RIGHT PAST IT i feel like telling them to open their eyes and use their brains and I just bet they can figure it out. Of course I don't do this, as I am a consummate professional, and I smile and answer their question like I do day after day.
Okay, I'm whining. I have a fabulous job. I love my job. But I need a break. Does that make me a bad person?
Then, to top it off, I come home to a messy house, a husband who wants to know whats for dinner and gets upset when I tell him it is whatever he makes himself, and a daughter who is demanding that I take her here and there and buy her everything under the fucking sun. I want to scream and be selfish and tell them I am on a fucking mommy strike as of right now! Your both able to fend for yourselves, so do it, and leave me alone for 5 minutes god damn it all.
I'm tired of doing everything myself. I'm tired of being the responsible one. I'm just plain fucking tired.
My post sucks. I'm a negative little bitch and I deserve to be flogged.
I'll think of something happy when I blog again.
For those of you who are KORN fans, you'll recognize the lyrics from my title. The words express everything I am feeling at this moment. It is fucking October 30th, and yet the visitors are still flocking to the Park. I realize I am being irrational, that these people are on a joyous vacation, but I'm burned out with answering the same questions over and over. Winter is my recharge time so that I may greet the masses of people in the Spring with a positive attitude and a polite demeanor. When the 50th person asks me where the bathroom is after they have JUST WALKED RIGHT PAST IT i feel like telling them to open their eyes and use their brains and I just bet they can figure it out. Of course I don't do this, as I am a consummate professional, and I smile and answer their question like I do day after day.
Okay, I'm whining. I have a fabulous job. I love my job. But I need a break. Does that make me a bad person?
Then, to top it off, I come home to a messy house, a husband who wants to know whats for dinner and gets upset when I tell him it is whatever he makes himself, and a daughter who is demanding that I take her here and there and buy her everything under the fucking sun. I want to scream and be selfish and tell them I am on a fucking mommy strike as of right now! Your both able to fend for yourselves, so do it, and leave me alone for 5 minutes god damn it all.
I'm tired of doing everything myself. I'm tired of being the responsible one. I'm just plain fucking tired.
My post sucks. I'm a negative little bitch and I deserve to be flogged.
I'll think of something happy when I blog again.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Yes, I am still alive (barely)
Okay, I know it seems I have dropped off the face of the earth. I am truly sorry to you all that I haven't blogged in forever. I have been reading all of your blogs periodically, trying to keep up on all that is going on in your lives, but I have either been busier than shit or so fucking tired I can't even think about turning on the computer. So, to recap the last month or so.
I went to New Mexico for a week after Memorial Day to teach Leave No Trace to the Philmont Boy Scout Ranch Staff, or whatever they are called. It was a blast, and the kids (I call them kids but they are all in their 20's) were very sweet and enthusiastic. They put me up in luxury accommodations that consisted of a canvas tent and two cots. It was pretty nice considering I expected to sleep in a little one man tent the whole time. However, the very first night I woke up around 3:00 a.m. to the noise of something moving around in my tent. Heart pounding (this is bear country after all) I grabbed the flashlight and turned it on. On top of my backpack sat the LARGEST skunk I have ever seen. I ran out of the tent, thinking "what the fuck do I do now?" and waited for the damn thing to get bored and leave. I had to wait 45 minutes for the sucker to finally decide find another tent to raid.
I also went to Vegas to meet up with an old highschool friend of mine. It was a blast, and we drank to excess. I drove home the next day on 3 hours of sleep and the worst hangover known to man. I thought I was going to hurl several times on the way home, but made it intact. I crashed in bed for about an hour, when my husband comes home and informs me that we have to go up the family cabin and join in the Father's Day BBQ. So, I fucking get up and drag my ass over there to pick at the watermelon and drink gallons of water. Then my Father-in-law tells me that some dogs had attacked my nephew's pet sheep and would I go look at it and see if (and these are his exact words) I can "doctor" it up. I love my father-in-law and would do anything for him, but for some reason my in-laws all think I am a vet. But I say okay, I'll go take a look.
Ken and I drive over to the farm, me holding some antiseptic cream and I see the sheep on the ground. I walk over to it and it is obviously dead. I look at it's wounds and am truly horrified. The dogs had ripped out the sheeps entire back end and part of its stomach. There was no way the sheep could have survived. I am not a miracle worker. Feeling sad and hungover, I drive home, and Ken informs me he wants to make a side trip to look at something. I tell him "no" I want to go home and sleep. So then he yells at me, trying to make me feel guilty about the hangover and how I never help him with anything, and he should have just left me home. WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!!!!! I just went to HIS family's BBQ (he never attends any of my family functions) and I inspected one of HIS family's dead sheep. I am still pissed about that.
Thursday I backpacked into Ashdown Creek and met up with some other Park Service people to do more leave no trace. We all hiked out together on Friday, and I tore the shit out of my legs. I should have worn long pants, but it is so damn hot right now. But all in all, it was a fun trip with really good people.
Saturday night was one of my dearest friends weddings. It was so much fun, a day filled with food, drinks, dancing, and karaoke. Kiri and I sang "Teenage Dirtbag" "Down in the River to Pray" and "I'm a believer" together. She teamed up with some friends to sing "I like Big Butts" or whatever it's called by Sir Mixalot. Too stinkin funny. I sang "Wonderboy" with my good friend Jennifer (who was the bride), and "Sweet Home Alabama" by myself. My husband got drunk and decided the karaoke was a competition and kept telling me to sing them "into the fucking ground". He then proceeded to call one of the other guests a dog dick, and so I drove him home. I left his ass there, and went back to party some more with Kiri and my friends. We left at 1:00 a.m. Hanging out and singing with Kiri was one of the best times I have had with her in a long time. She doesn't want to hang with mom much anymore, so I cherished every minute, every song. She looked beautiful up there singing. God, I adore my child.
So that is it folks. I cut out a lot so as to not bore you all to death. But, just know that I am still here, and reading your posts. Summer is crazy busy for me, so my posts will be infrequent. I love you all.
I went to New Mexico for a week after Memorial Day to teach Leave No Trace to the Philmont Boy Scout Ranch Staff, or whatever they are called. It was a blast, and the kids (I call them kids but they are all in their 20's) were very sweet and enthusiastic. They put me up in luxury accommodations that consisted of a canvas tent and two cots. It was pretty nice considering I expected to sleep in a little one man tent the whole time. However, the very first night I woke up around 3:00 a.m. to the noise of something moving around in my tent. Heart pounding (this is bear country after all) I grabbed the flashlight and turned it on. On top of my backpack sat the LARGEST skunk I have ever seen. I ran out of the tent, thinking "what the fuck do I do now?" and waited for the damn thing to get bored and leave. I had to wait 45 minutes for the sucker to finally decide find another tent to raid.
I also went to Vegas to meet up with an old highschool friend of mine. It was a blast, and we drank to excess. I drove home the next day on 3 hours of sleep and the worst hangover known to man. I thought I was going to hurl several times on the way home, but made it intact. I crashed in bed for about an hour, when my husband comes home and informs me that we have to go up the family cabin and join in the Father's Day BBQ. So, I fucking get up and drag my ass over there to pick at the watermelon and drink gallons of water. Then my Father-in-law tells me that some dogs had attacked my nephew's pet sheep and would I go look at it and see if (and these are his exact words) I can "doctor" it up. I love my father-in-law and would do anything for him, but for some reason my in-laws all think I am a vet. But I say okay, I'll go take a look.
Ken and I drive over to the farm, me holding some antiseptic cream and I see the sheep on the ground. I walk over to it and it is obviously dead. I look at it's wounds and am truly horrified. The dogs had ripped out the sheeps entire back end and part of its stomach. There was no way the sheep could have survived. I am not a miracle worker. Feeling sad and hungover, I drive home, and Ken informs me he wants to make a side trip to look at something. I tell him "no" I want to go home and sleep. So then he yells at me, trying to make me feel guilty about the hangover and how I never help him with anything, and he should have just left me home. WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!!!!! I just went to HIS family's BBQ (he never attends any of my family functions) and I inspected one of HIS family's dead sheep. I am still pissed about that.
Thursday I backpacked into Ashdown Creek and met up with some other Park Service people to do more leave no trace. We all hiked out together on Friday, and I tore the shit out of my legs. I should have worn long pants, but it is so damn hot right now. But all in all, it was a fun trip with really good people.
Saturday night was one of my dearest friends weddings. It was so much fun, a day filled with food, drinks, dancing, and karaoke. Kiri and I sang "Teenage Dirtbag" "Down in the River to Pray" and "I'm a believer" together. She teamed up with some friends to sing "I like Big Butts" or whatever it's called by Sir Mixalot. Too stinkin funny. I sang "Wonderboy" with my good friend Jennifer (who was the bride), and "Sweet Home Alabama" by myself. My husband got drunk and decided the karaoke was a competition and kept telling me to sing them "into the fucking ground". He then proceeded to call one of the other guests a dog dick, and so I drove him home. I left his ass there, and went back to party some more with Kiri and my friends. We left at 1:00 a.m. Hanging out and singing with Kiri was one of the best times I have had with her in a long time. She doesn't want to hang with mom much anymore, so I cherished every minute, every song. She looked beautiful up there singing. God, I adore my child.
So that is it folks. I cut out a lot so as to not bore you all to death. But, just know that I am still here, and reading your posts. Summer is crazy busy for me, so my posts will be infrequent. I love you all.
Friday, May 12, 2006
I drove up the road to do a Geology program today and I saw a Gopher snake. Mark it on the calendar girls, the first snake of the season has indeed been seen. Unfortunately, not photographed however. I didn't have my camera, so I used these public domain pictures from nps.gov. HURRAY, HURRAY, HURRAY!!!!!!!!! THE FIRST SNAKE! I'M SO EXCITED! The fabulous slithery dude was in the road so I got out of the truck and coaxed him off the road. He did not like that very much, and cocked his head to the side and huffed and puffed as he slowly moved away into the bushes. But I would seriously be bummed if he had been squished by a car. The following is my ode to the Gopher snake.
Oh, Gopher snake so fat and sassy
If you got smashed it would be messy
So slide off into your shaded abode
and get the fuck off of the road.
Thank you to those whom I know are clapping and whistling, and even perhaps giving me a "whoot whoot".
Sorry I have been a blog lazy ass lately. Busy busy busy in the summer months. Everyone wants to see the Park right now, so I barely have time to breathe let alone blog.
Next blog I will tell you all about the Concert fiasco with Kiri
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
I slept untill 11:00 p.m. and I don't feel one ounce of guilt
Here are a few pictures from my quickie vacation. Kiri is playing basketball with her cousins. Kiri then took a very flattering picture of me the next morning with a slight hangover. My grandmother in her kitchen cooking my 500th meal of the day, and my brother riding his lawnmower while under the influence, naughty boy.
I had a wonderful time visiting the family, and hanging out with Kiri. One negative side affect of the drinking of alcohol is that Kiri caught me smoking a cigarette, and burst into tears. She told me if I ever smoked again she would not ever speak to me. She calmed down after a while, but it put a damper on my party mood. Sometimes I wonder who is the parent and who is the child in this relationship. Kiri seems to think she is my keeper, or my conscience. It is very confusing.
But we are back, and I spend the entire day (after I woke up at 11:00, that is. Which makes me think of Spinal Tap "But this one goes to eleven") watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have always loved Buffy, but never owned the seasons, so it is fun to watch them all in order with no commercials. My friends have hopped on to the Buffy bandwagon, and I love that they love it. I can now share my eternal love for Buffy (and my lust for Angel and Spike) with them all.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
2 weeks and counting
Kodi is finally going on vacation!
I will have a GLORIOUS 8 days off in a row starting April 21st. My God, I can not comprehend the beauty of a whole week off! I can think of nothing else until then. I plan on going to Salt Lake City to visit my Besse (Grandmother) for a couple days, then going to Logan to visit my brig brother (no that isn't a typo, that's what I call him) and his family for a couple days, AND THEN I plan on staying home for 4 days, eating popsicles, riding my horse, maybe hiking here and there, definitely reading some good books and watching lots of movies. Oh, and sleeping in every day!
Kiri wants me to let her go to Vegas with her friend and her friend's mother to see a band called "Avenge Seven Fold" in concert. I don't know if I should let her go or not. I was 15 for my first concert, but my brother watched me like a hawk, and wouldn't even let me flirt even a little. Thank God for Brig Brothers! Do I trust someone to watch Kiri and keep her out of trouble? Do I really want to crush Kiri's dream of attending this concert (it means a lot to her to go). I am torn.
Speaking of concerts, my first concert was the Judas Priest/Raven concert. That was back when I had no clue that Rob Halford was gay. I thought it was a rockin performance, and especially loved when Rob rode out on stage on a big Harley and sang "We don't need Parental guidance Here". Too cool for a 15 year old girl. My next concert was Bon Jovi/Cinderella concert. I thought Jon Bon Jovi was smokin hot as he sailed over the crowd singing "Shot Through the Heart." Oh, yeah baby. Then came the Kiss/Winger/Slaughter concert when I tried to get to the front of the stage when Slaughter was playing and got groped by every sweaty man around and almost passed out from lack of oxygen. Rocker Chick to the Core! After that was the Tesla/Firehouse concert in an outdoor arena. That was okay, but I liked the stifling hot reek of untold amounts of marijuana, deafening roar of music till your ears ring for hours after experience of the indoor arenas better.
Unfortunately, I am too much of tight wad to fork over ungodly amounts of cash for a ticket to headliner concerts now a days. Perhaps someday I'll pry open my wallet and go to another concert, but it would have to be something truly spectacular.
I will have a GLORIOUS 8 days off in a row starting April 21st. My God, I can not comprehend the beauty of a whole week off! I can think of nothing else until then. I plan on going to Salt Lake City to visit my Besse (Grandmother) for a couple days, then going to Logan to visit my brig brother (no that isn't a typo, that's what I call him) and his family for a couple days, AND THEN I plan on staying home for 4 days, eating popsicles, riding my horse, maybe hiking here and there, definitely reading some good books and watching lots of movies. Oh, and sleeping in every day!
Kiri wants me to let her go to Vegas with her friend and her friend's mother to see a band called "Avenge Seven Fold" in concert. I don't know if I should let her go or not. I was 15 for my first concert, but my brother watched me like a hawk, and wouldn't even let me flirt even a little. Thank God for Brig Brothers! Do I trust someone to watch Kiri and keep her out of trouble? Do I really want to crush Kiri's dream of attending this concert (it means a lot to her to go). I am torn.
Speaking of concerts, my first concert was the Judas Priest/Raven concert. That was back when I had no clue that Rob Halford was gay. I thought it was a rockin performance, and especially loved when Rob rode out on stage on a big Harley and sang "We don't need Parental guidance Here". Too cool for a 15 year old girl. My next concert was Bon Jovi/Cinderella concert. I thought Jon Bon Jovi was smokin hot as he sailed over the crowd singing "Shot Through the Heart." Oh, yeah baby. Then came the Kiss/Winger/Slaughter concert when I tried to get to the front of the stage when Slaughter was playing and got groped by every sweaty man around and almost passed out from lack of oxygen. Rocker Chick to the Core! After that was the Tesla/Firehouse concert in an outdoor arena. That was okay, but I liked the stifling hot reek of untold amounts of marijuana, deafening roar of music till your ears ring for hours after experience of the indoor arenas better.
Unfortunately, I am too much of tight wad to fork over ungodly amounts of cash for a ticket to headliner concerts now a days. Perhaps someday I'll pry open my wallet and go to another concert, but it would have to be something truly spectacular.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Monday Monday
I drove to my mom and dad's house Saturday and spent the night. All the way there, and all the way back, I sang songs from the Mama's and the Papa's Greatest Hits CD. My all time favorite M's & P's song is "Monday, Monday". I especially love the part where the music picks up in tempo and they start singin' "Every other day, every other day, every other day of the week is FINE yah. But when ever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes, you can find me cryin all of the time" I sang it over and over until I was hoarse, because I am a big dork.
Kiri and Ken got into a hellacious fight this weekend while I was gone. I won't go into detail, but needless to say both Kiri and Ken were saying some pretty mean things to each other. I am at the end of my rope, and have seriously considered leaving Ken. Though I can sort of see his point, as Kiri is very disrespectful of him. But I expect him to act like the adult, instead of reacting like a child. That's all I am going to say at this time, but I feel like crying.
Tomorrow is the day I am going to start exercising on a regular basis again. I have to start hiking for the season soon, and I am woefully out of shape. I have gained 10 lbs. this winter, and it is time to do something about it. I plan on walking around 3 miles/day to start, and then slowly increasing it until I top out at about 5 miles. After that, I'll throw in 5 minutes of running, then 5 minutes of walking. That is how I lost 20 lbs three years ago. It will also get me out of the house before I strangle my husband.
Kiri and Ken got into a hellacious fight this weekend while I was gone. I won't go into detail, but needless to say both Kiri and Ken were saying some pretty mean things to each other. I am at the end of my rope, and have seriously considered leaving Ken. Though I can sort of see his point, as Kiri is very disrespectful of him. But I expect him to act like the adult, instead of reacting like a child. That's all I am going to say at this time, but I feel like crying.
Tomorrow is the day I am going to start exercising on a regular basis again. I have to start hiking for the season soon, and I am woefully out of shape. I have gained 10 lbs. this winter, and it is time to do something about it. I plan on walking around 3 miles/day to start, and then slowly increasing it until I top out at about 5 miles. After that, I'll throw in 5 minutes of running, then 5 minutes of walking. That is how I lost 20 lbs three years ago. It will also get me out of the house before I strangle my husband.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Kodi's Wild Kingdom
I was reading animal attack files on the internet, and started thinking about close calls I have had while hiking, recreating in the wilderness. Animal attacks fascinate me, probably because I spend so much time in remote areas, that I want to be informed so I may avoid the dangers out there as much as I can, which really is only to a certain extent. Dangerous animal encounters can be a combination of hiking and camping practices (not storing food properly, not recognizing danger signs like recent cougar kills, elk rutting season, invading an animals space or territory) as well as plain luck. Most snake bites occur because the idiot was trying to pick up the venomous snake (dur...bite me please, I like intense pain) or kill the snake. Legitimate bites (where the person was not harassing the animal) usually occur because the person was not paying attention to where he/she was placing their hands or their feet. I learned this the hard way.
Usually when I hike in rattlesnake habitat, I am very careful about putting my hands in places I can't see very well. I would never just reach under a log willy nilly without looking first. But one hike, I let my guard down. It had rained buckets all night and as I hit the trail, I knew it was going to be a struggle. I got into the flats of hop valley, and huge ravines had been cut across the trail from water runoff, forcing me to scramble up ridges and wallow through deep mud. I was alone, but I had my Park radio, so wasn't really worried. At one point I sank to my thighs in mud, and couldn't pull my self out. I had to take off my backpack, throw it on stable ground and practically swim out of the mud. In the process, I immersed my radio in mud and ruined it. With really no choice but to soldier on, I continued on my way.
At the 6 mile point, I started down some steep switchbacks into a separate canyon, and was starting to feel pretty tired from scrambling and pulling myself through mud for the last 3 hours. The rain had washed big rocks in the trail, and I would often use a tree or a boulder for balance as I navigated my way down. About halfway down the switchbacks, I put my hand on the lip of a boulder as I slid around a rock, and heard the unmistakable sound of a rattlesnake vibrating his tail. I jumped 20 feet straight in the air on instinct alone (I may be exaggerating slightly). When I calmed down I checked my hand to make sure I hadn't been bitten (I hadn't). Then I got curious and peeked under the lip of this ragged boulder to see the snake. He was still there, rattling like crazy. I had literally put my hand about a half an inch away from the snakes head.
I must say, in defense of the snake, he did not bite me when he easily could have, and it was my fault entirely. If I had been alert, I wouldn't have rested my hand on the lip of the boulder when I couldn't see what was underneath. I have hiked in the desert all my life, and I can truthfully say, if you are paying attention to where you are stepping, sitting, or placing your hands, and if you don't mess with snakes in general, your chances of being bitten is almost 0.
A funny side note, once I got to my campsite I had to throw rocks at a pesky squirrel to keep him from running up my leg and stealing the potato chips I was trying to eat. And, a mountain lion walked through my campsite that night as well, but paid absolutely no attention to me at all. He could have cared less that I was there.
Any one else have any close calls with wildlife?
P.S. I was trying to upload a picture I drew on Paint of me, the boulder, and the snake, but it wouldn't load. Stupid computer
Usually when I hike in rattlesnake habitat, I am very careful about putting my hands in places I can't see very well. I would never just reach under a log willy nilly without looking first. But one hike, I let my guard down. It had rained buckets all night and as I hit the trail, I knew it was going to be a struggle. I got into the flats of hop valley, and huge ravines had been cut across the trail from water runoff, forcing me to scramble up ridges and wallow through deep mud. I was alone, but I had my Park radio, so wasn't really worried. At one point I sank to my thighs in mud, and couldn't pull my self out. I had to take off my backpack, throw it on stable ground and practically swim out of the mud. In the process, I immersed my radio in mud and ruined it. With really no choice but to soldier on, I continued on my way.
At the 6 mile point, I started down some steep switchbacks into a separate canyon, and was starting to feel pretty tired from scrambling and pulling myself through mud for the last 3 hours. The rain had washed big rocks in the trail, and I would often use a tree or a boulder for balance as I navigated my way down. About halfway down the switchbacks, I put my hand on the lip of a boulder as I slid around a rock, and heard the unmistakable sound of a rattlesnake vibrating his tail. I jumped 20 feet straight in the air on instinct alone (I may be exaggerating slightly). When I calmed down I checked my hand to make sure I hadn't been bitten (I hadn't). Then I got curious and peeked under the lip of this ragged boulder to see the snake. He was still there, rattling like crazy. I had literally put my hand about a half an inch away from the snakes head.
I must say, in defense of the snake, he did not bite me when he easily could have, and it was my fault entirely. If I had been alert, I wouldn't have rested my hand on the lip of the boulder when I couldn't see what was underneath. I have hiked in the desert all my life, and I can truthfully say, if you are paying attention to where you are stepping, sitting, or placing your hands, and if you don't mess with snakes in general, your chances of being bitten is almost 0.
A funny side note, once I got to my campsite I had to throw rocks at a pesky squirrel to keep him from running up my leg and stealing the potato chips I was trying to eat. And, a mountain lion walked through my campsite that night as well, but paid absolutely no attention to me at all. He could have cared less that I was there.
Any one else have any close calls with wildlife?
P.S. I was trying to upload a picture I drew on Paint of me, the boulder, and the snake, but it wouldn't load. Stupid computer
Monday, February 27, 2006
Get up come on get down with the sickness
Yep, I'm sick. Not sick have to stay in bed and do nothing sick. Walking sick, general miserableness. I think it all started with the stuffing yesterday. I was eating stuffing around 2:00 p.m, watching America's Funniest Home Videos, when something amusing happened, I laughed, and inhaled stuffing. I choked and gagged, and some of it went into my nose. Seriously, I was blowing stuffing out of my nose. After that, I had a sore throat which has progressed into headaches and coughing. Sucky stuffing. So a word of advice. Don't eat stuffing while watching funny videos.
I went to Vegas to see some very good friends of mine. Mizzusj and hubby were there. We ate massive amounts of food, and I stayed up until 2:30 a.m. Maybe that is why I'm sick. Who knows. Fun was had by all, AND I won $370.00 on my favorite slot machine Wheel of Fortune. So I came home with more money than I left with, and that was also great.
As I can think of nothing more to say, I though I'd do the tag thing, though I was never tagged. I will move on in the assumption that someone was thinking of tagging me, but forgot how to spell my name. Huh, I think being sick has made me even wittier. Imagine that.
FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD
1. Lifeguard
2. Pig farmer
3. Prairie Dog catcher/tagger/releaser (they are endangered in Utah, part of a study).
4. Park Ranger
MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Serenity
2. Snatch
3. Ghost and the Darkness
4. Bridget Jones's Diary
FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED
1. Delta, Utah
2. Ephraim, Utah
3. Salt Lake City, Utah
4. Cedar City, Utah (yeah, I know, I need to expand my horizons)
FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE
1. The Jeff Corwin Experience
2. Real World/Road Rules Challenge
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. Firefly
FOUR PLACES I'VE VACATIONED
1. Norway
2. Yellowstone
3. Monument Valley
4. Disneyland
FOUR OF MY FAVORITE DISHES
1. Ice cream of any kind
2. Shrimp scampi
3. Mizzusj's chicken salad with ramen noodles in it
4. Cheeseburgers
FOUR SITES I VISIT DAILY
1. Mizzusj
2. Baby Attack
3. Moviemistakes.com
4. Animal Attack Files (yes, morbid, but fascinating)
FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Riding my horse
2. Norway
3. My brother's house
4. Hiking
I went to Vegas to see some very good friends of mine. Mizzusj and hubby were there. We ate massive amounts of food, and I stayed up until 2:30 a.m. Maybe that is why I'm sick. Who knows. Fun was had by all, AND I won $370.00 on my favorite slot machine Wheel of Fortune. So I came home with more money than I left with, and that was also great.
As I can think of nothing more to say, I though I'd do the tag thing, though I was never tagged. I will move on in the assumption that someone was thinking of tagging me, but forgot how to spell my name. Huh, I think being sick has made me even wittier. Imagine that.
FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD
1. Lifeguard
2. Pig farmer
3. Prairie Dog catcher/tagger/releaser (they are endangered in Utah, part of a study).
4. Park Ranger
MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Serenity
2. Snatch
3. Ghost and the Darkness
4. Bridget Jones's Diary
FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED
1. Delta, Utah
2. Ephraim, Utah
3. Salt Lake City, Utah
4. Cedar City, Utah (yeah, I know, I need to expand my horizons)
FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE
1. The Jeff Corwin Experience
2. Real World/Road Rules Challenge
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. Firefly
FOUR PLACES I'VE VACATIONED
1. Norway
2. Yellowstone
3. Monument Valley
4. Disneyland
FOUR OF MY FAVORITE DISHES
1. Ice cream of any kind
2. Shrimp scampi
3. Mizzusj's chicken salad with ramen noodles in it
4. Cheeseburgers
FOUR SITES I VISIT DAILY
1. Mizzusj
2. Baby Attack
3. Moviemistakes.com
4. Animal Attack Files (yes, morbid, but fascinating)
FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Riding my horse
2. Norway
3. My brother's house
4. Hiking
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Rangerin'
Today I am heading over to the local University to do the Career Fair. Yipee! I enjoy talking about my job to those who wish to join the ranks of green and gray. The above pictures are of Zion after a storm, and me looking very tired after all that ranchin' in the desert.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Lots of driving driving driving
The following pictures are of the local family ranch located in Arizona. I would post more but I have to go get Kiri from Milford, which is an hour away. She was supposed to come home with a friend, but somehow that friend isn't coming back until 1:00 a.m. She can't seem to understand why I am angry at her for making me drive to Milford in the snow to get her. KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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