Friday, October 03, 2008

Please God, take my uterus

I hate my periods! Without getting too graphic, let me just say that when I'm on my period, I wish to rip my uterus out of my body. The pain, the cramps, the fatigue, the crankiness, the heavy heavy flow. If I believed in a God, I would ask him to make me menopausal NOW! I will take hot flashes and vaginal dryness over what I have now.
I gave birth to my daughter at 20 years of age. At the time, I asked my doctor to tie my tubes. He wouldn't do it. I swore to him that I would not want another child, and yet he still would not do it. I was too young, he said. I might change my mind, he said. I said fuck you, you piece of shit, tie the damn tubes. But no. Now I'm wishing I would've asked him to take the whole kit and kaboodle. I don't need it anymore. I am now 37, and I'm still absolutely sure I will never want to get pregnant again. If I could get rid of the periods, it would be a double bonus. A jackpot, if you will.
Today at work, I looked like a zombie. A very angry, angry zombie. I'm sure the visitors were impressed.
So, if you believe in a deity of some sort, ask him, her, or it to take my uterus. I offer it to them as a bloody sacrifice. I don't even ask for anything in return. Just take it. It's got to be worth something spiritually speaking.

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