ho hum

It has been a week with a whole lotta nothin'. The only bright spot in the entire week is when I had friends over on Saturday night. We watched a little "Scarface" and mostly just talked. I had a great time.

Not much going on right now. I am going to do some school programs tomorrow for a local 4th grade class. I always enjoy that. I am not sure if I'll be able to bring the snakes, as it is quite cold outside. The don't do so well in the frigid arctic air. It's the whole ectothermic thing. But here is a list of things I have learned while doing programs at elementary schools.

1. Never ask "are there any questions?" without qualifying what exactly you mean by questions. If there are no limits, the children will tell you fantastic stories about cobras coming out of their grandmother's couch, fathers killing a rattlesnake 10 feet long, or the time they stuck their tongue on the ice in the freezer and it stuck. So instead you must say "Are there any questions? and by questions I mean sentences starting with who, where, what, when, why, and how that relate to the subject I have been discussing for the past hour."

2. Never leave your cool props and visuals unattended in a classroom. The children don't steal them, but are so fascinated they cannot keep their hands off and usually end up breaking something.

3. Warn the children before pulling the live snake out of the bag unless you want mini burst of mass hysteria.

4. Never mention hunting, endangered species, or environmentalists in the classroom, or you won't be asked back the following year. I find it challenging to teach these children without talking about these topics, especially endangered species, but these are touchy subjects and many parents will call and complain if they knew they were being taught in class.

5. Be careful what games you play in the class to demonstrate your point. I usually play a web game with string and the children are different plants and animals all connected in a pretend ecosystem. Some child invariably puts the string around their neck (why?) and pretends to die in a dramatic tumble to the ground.

6. When playing a variation of tag that involves some students being deer and others being cougars, make sure you let them know this is touch tag, not kick tag, hit tag, trip tag, or tackle tag, or the blood will flow.

7. If you do your best and let them see how much you love your job, and enjoy being in their classroom, the kids will remember you forever. I had one girl recognize me in the grocery store and scream "Ranger Kodi!" and give me a huge hug. All the while her mother is eyeing me like I am some kind of pervert until I explain that I once did a program in this girl's class, and she must have liked it.

Cheers!