Monday, May 23, 2005

My Lazy Ass

It's my day off. So was yesterday. I have to go back to work tomorrow, and I haven't done any of the goals I set for myself for the weekend. I got WAY too drunk on Saturday night, and burst into tears while playing a game with my friends. I feel stupid, and slightly depressed about it all. I don't cry, hardly ever. Sometimes I'll cry during a really good movie, but it is pretty rare. I don't know what happened. We were all having a great time, and I just started crying. I think I'm losing it.

So, Sunday I had a pretty good headache and just moped around the house. Took a nap, did the dishes and some grocery shopping, but that was it. I wanted to plant flowers and clean my house. Not just a surface clean but a good scrubbing (it needs it). But I didn't do it. Then today I just watched movies and downloaded songs on my mp3 player. Right now I'm trying to find the motivation to go for a good long walk. That will probably make me feel better. But I just feel kinda blue.

Kiri has only 3 more days left of school. I feel depressed about that too. It's nice having Monday's all to myself for most of the day. No husband, no kid, no work. I love it. Now I will be sharing Mondays with Kiri. I mean, I love my kid, but I deserve one day a week to myself without feeling guilty. Now I sound petulant and self absorbed.

Okay, I'm going to force myself to go for a walk (God, it's hot out there), then I will have a drink and be lazy for the rest of the day. Maybe next weekend will be more productive.

3 comments:

amandak said...

Hey, everyone deserves to blow off a weekend every once in awhile. Sorry to hear you were feeling so sad. It happens to the best of us on occasion, don't worry about how your friends reacted, they're your FRIENDS, they get it. Hope the walk helped, it usually does.

hazel said...

I hate the blues. best you can do is ride it out and don't feel guilty, if at all possible.

Missuz J said...

Sweet girl--don't worry a bit about the crying. The only thing anyone was thinking/feeling about it was that we hoped you were ok. Sorry about the headache--go in fear of tequila shots. :)