The fourth of July has always been my least favorite holiday. Here are the reasons why.
1. I like to sleep. I like to sleep a lot, and I get extremely annoyed when all the stupid fuckers in my town feel the need to set off fireworks throughout the fucking night. The big town display is okay, some safe legal private fireworks before and after... okay, UNTIL the clock strikes midnight. After that anyone letting off fireworks should have a bottle rocket shoved up their bum. I usually have to work the next day, so my fuse is very short when it comes to interruptions of my much treasured sleep.
2. Fourth of July means it's time for the big Family Reunion for my in-laws. I love my Mother and Father-in-law, however I am NOTHING like the rest of the in-law family. I don't know how to talk to them, and they feel the same about me. I am a liberal in a sea of conservatives. I am a agnostic in the Mormon temple. I am a environmentalists in a jungle of consumers. I am a girl with a tattoo and a nose ring surrounded by slacks and modest shirts. I wear little to no makeup, and just let my hair hang loose and natural. They wear massive amounts of makeup, perfume, and have big hair with lots of hairspray. I would rather go home and sleep.
3. I never get to do what I want to do on the fourth. Someone will make demands of me that I would rather not do, but feel obligated to do anyway. For instance, my husband will want me to spend the day with his family, which is okay, but I'd rather spend it with my friends drinking wine and singing karaoke. Or my daughter will want me to drive her all over the place from one activity to the next. That's okay too, but I'd rather read my book. Or my step kids will want to go fishing. Fishing is fun, but I end up cooking the fish for dinner that night for everyone, which also means a trip to the much hated grocery store, and of course no one helps me carry the groceries into the house or put them away. I'd rather play backgammon with Becca or go hiking with Jen.
4. Can't think of a four, but will reiterate how much I hate the stupid bastards that keep me up all night with fireworks when I have to wake up at 6:00 a.m. for work.
As you can see, I am in a really cranky mood tonight. I plan on sleeping in, then drinking coffee and reading my book tomorrow. I am looking forward to the BBQ with friends tomorrow night, but even then I have the dreaded 4th looming, knowing that Monday will be misery.
I need to work on my temper and my lack of tolerance. Or maybe I will get the stomach flu, and have an excuse to lay around all day instead.
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5 comments:
You know what? I don't really like the 4th either. I never really thought about it until now, but really, I dislike it for all the reasons you do. Do you have Monday off? If so, let's boycott the 4th together by wearing nothing red, white or blue, eating nothing barbecued, and setting of no fireworks. Instead we could do something very unAmerican like watching Pride and Prejudice and drinking tea and eating scones while drooling over Colin Firth in breaches. That was one hell of a long sentence. Love you!
aw man. had I only read this BEFORE the 4th. I am not a big fan, either. it's okay - but not great.
I got out of going to my in-laws this year, thank god. I stand out too, but not nearly as much as you do. I hope it went okay. give us an update.
OHHH! Scones and Colin Firth in breaches sounds like a good way to celebrate any holiday.
I hope you did something for yourself on the 4th. It is afterall Independence Day.
I actually laughed aloud when you reiterated that you would rather be sleeping at the end of your second reason.
I love sleep, too. I'm working on instilling that in my better half. Sleep is the time that I give myself away from the craziness of the day.
oh yeah, we'd rather be singing karaoke with you, too.
one more p.s.
my least favorite holiday is any one that falls on a Monday, because that's usually the busiest day for me at work, and if I don't go in for at least part of the day, Tuesday will be that much longer. And who wants a longer tuesday?
drives me nuts!!
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