Monday, February 06, 2006

Trials of Motherhood

Kiri and I were reminiscing about her childhood, and the embarrassing things she has done over the years. She was a precocious child, and as a single mother I spent a good deal of time entertaining her. I was often forced to bring her along to meetings and such because of lack of day care or money, and the result often ended in the hilarious.

Once I took Kiri to McDonald to play in the (admittedly gross) playland. She was very recently potty trained, and had accidents occasionally. At one point during the playtime, she came running over me, and desperately told me she had to go to the bathroom NOW!. We were running up the aisle between the tables towards the restroom, but alas it was already too late. Kiri had pooped her pants and the balls of poop had rolled out of her underwear, down her leg and onto the restaurant floor. I saw the horrified and disgusted looks on people's faces as they were eating. I made a detour to the front counter and very calmly told the young teenaged worker, in these exact words "My daughter just shit on your floor." Then we turned and left the restaurant. We didn't go back for several years.

Another time, I had to see my Genetics teacher in the Science Building, and had no babysitter. I figured it would be a quick meeting, so I took Kiri with me. I was standing outside the teachers office door talking to him, holding Kiri's hand but not really paying attention to what she was doing. She tugged on my hand a couple times, and I turned to look at her just as she yanked the fire alarm lever down. The noise was deafening and Kiri bust into tears. I ran to the office to tell them it was a false alarm. So, Kiri evacuated 2,000 some students from the science blg that day. Later in the week, someone found out it was my daughter that pulled the alarm and he gave me a candy bar to give to Kiri, saying "Your kid saved me from a Physics test".

Around the same time, I had to attend the Nutcracker ballet for a class assignment. Of course, no daycare is open that late at night in this town, so I went with Kiri in tow. After 5 minutes of ballet, I was polietly told to leave as Kiri was having a good time banging people with her bottle. I should have guessed what a rebel she would be when she was kicked out of a FAMILY presentation of the Nutcracker at 2 years old.

I used to work as an aide for the Agriculture department. I had some paperwork that really needed to be finished before the next class, and of course, Kiri was sick. So off to the Science Building we go. I'm cuddling a sick Kiri in my arms, walking down the hall towards my office, when she suddenly barfs a massive amount of puke in my hair and down my back. I turned around and we went home a soggy mess.

She was a little cutie, a tyrant, a genius. I miss my little girl, but I love talking to the teenager I have now.

6 comments:

hazel said...

I laughed, I laughed, and laughed more. and then I got misty with you there at the end.

I love the poop story. that is so excellent. trent, as an infant, once pooped so violently that it shot out of his diaper and out of his infant carrier and spilled over the edge onto the table in a roy rogers once. we didn't leave - we stayed and cleaned it up and it was horrible. had I only realized I could make someone else deal with it, I totally would have. if only I knew.

lonna said...

No wonder that two of you are so close. What wonderful stories you share.

shawnak said...

Man how time flys by. It seems like yesterday when we took Kiri and Q to Hogle Zoo and they were running around with Native American headresses on (very funny since my son is Native). I love telling Q about his "baby days" even though it makes me cry sometimes!

Stine said...

Oh my God, so funny.

NME said...

Hysterical, sweet and sad. They grow so quick. I'm scared.

Missuz J said...

I've always loved these stories. When things get really rough with Soph, sometimes I think of you and Kir, and think that things just might work out ok.