How to begin. Well, I have a 13 year old daughter, who looks 17 and has two distinct personalities. The first personality is my favorite. This one is when she laughs with me, wants to go catch nightcrawlers and garter snakes, and asks me questions like she believes I'm the foremost expert on anything worth knowing. The second personality is moody, capricious, likes to roll her eyes at me like I'm the dumbest human to inhabit the earth, messy, inconsiderate, and a pain in the ass. They are both my daughter. My only child, and the best thing that ever happened to me.

This week we had a first. The first time we shopped for a formal dress so she could go to the Mardi Gra Ball. I loved every minute of it. She must've tried on 20 dresses. One was this sexy black strappy number that made her look like Angelina Jolie. WAY too sexy. We nixed that one (though I tried it on later and I looked like Rodney Dangerfield in a dress, if Rodney Dangerfield were short with big boobs). She settled on a beautiful blue dress. So next we looked for shoes and a purse to match.

I hate shopping. Next to laundry, shopping is my least favorite chore. But we had a blast, and when she got ready for the ball, I felt like I was going to cry she was so pretty. God, just when you think you can't take one more day of being a mother, something happens that makes you burn inside with how much you love being a mother.
I've been listing in my head the things that matter the most to me, and deciding which ones really do matter, and which actually don't.

THOSE THINGS THAT REALLY DO MATTER
1. My daughter
2. My husband, though sometimes it is hard to put him on the "matter" list
3. My friends, without whom I would've gone bonkers long ago
4. Good books
5. Long hikes that make your bones ache for days after, but give you a sense of accomplishment
6. Chocolate
7. Taking time to dance, by yourself, crazily, usually with a pretend microphone in your hand
8. A good glass of wine with my friends, laughing and hanging out, playing silly games like karaoke revolution

THOSE THINGS I THOUGHT MATTERED BUT REALLY DON'T
1. Having a spotless house, which I have never really had, but always felt guilty about
2. Making everyone happy. This has bit me in the ass many times
3. Cooking dinner every night
4. When my husband throws something away I thought I wanted. Really it's just about junk anyway
5. Worrying about if I should go over to Becca's house and drink wine, or stay home and watch bullriding with my husband so he won't be angry with me. Let him be angry, damn it. I don't want to watch bullriding. I want to see Becca.