Sorry. Not much to write about today. Other than the fact that my daughter can manipulate me on a regular basis to get what she wants. I try to resist, but her arguments are well thought out, and I find myself thinking "Hmmm, that makes sense" then I let her do what I told her 20 minutes ago she couldn't do. She wants me to treat her more like an adult, and is very hurt when she feels I don't trust her. There are certain rules that are unbreakable, her curfew for one, but others are more like guidelines than rules (I totally stole that from Pirates of the Caribbean). So when I say no sleepovers on weekdays, that really means, because of the huge sucker that I am, that she can have a sleepover in the middle of the week on a regular basis.
Just stamp "gigantic Pushover" on my forehead.
However, I find that Kiri is generally responsible, and my trust is validated. I need to be more firm with her however. I don't like feeling like a bulldozer just ran over all my credibility. I have to have SOME authority, for crying out loud. Wish my parents had been as cool as I am. Thank God she doesn't have access to my bank account. Hahahahahahaha.
Shit you probably wouldn't want to know.
About Me
- Kodi
- Mother, friend, hermit
kosihoho
Angel is hotter than Spike! Except when he's a sissy boy.
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4 comments:
well, though you don't want to feel like you're manipulated, and I totally get that, I think that what you're doing for kiri's self esteem - namely that she is able to adequately and successfully articulate her point of view - is actually quite good. alot of us learn some painful life lessons because as young adults in the working world, we don't stand up for ourselves because we don't think that we'd ever be able to argue our point. and while other people in her life may not agree with her points and will still say no, I'm sure they'll admire her tenacity. as long as her arguments with you are not actual arguments where she belittles you or otherwise undermines you unfairly. know what I mean?
You have to be firm sometimes or you lose your credibility. Youy have to give in some times - or you appear unreasonable. It's such a subtle balance.
But it speaks volumes that you can trust her. That means you are doing an excellent job.
I believe that a well-thought-out argument is what I spent most of my childhood majoring in.
I don't have a 13 year old, but one thing I do know is that if an old pattern of thinking doesn't gibe with today, it's okay to replace those old patterns. If you no longer feel firm that it's unacceptable to have sleep-overs in the middle of the week, let her have 'em.
But if you want to stick to your guns, it doesn't matter how good the argument is (and again, here's where I don't have children), sometimes you just have to say, "You've made a great point, dearest daughter of mine, but I'm still saying no." (because I'm the adult and what I say in this home goes). Remember, the "coolest" parents aren't always the best parents.
Kodikins--I have nothing to say except that I have such respect for you as a mom, that I trust you with my daughter without a second's worry. Love you.
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