I'm off to the dentist. Not for me, but for Kiri. She has braces. $4,000.00 worth of braces. I had to get a stinking loan to pay for said braces. Every month these braces are tightened, and Kiri gets some weird new color of holders on her braces. One month it is purple, the next green. Whatever. I don't care what damn color they are, I don't see how they could possibly be worth $4,000. What a joke. And her dentist is too damn nice. He talks to me like I am a child, and I want to grab him by his nards and let him know in no uncertain terms that I am not stupid. I went to college for Christ sakes, I know where the fucking mandible is located. So take my money, and shut the hell up and fix her damn teeth.
I am thinking how fun it would be to go to the dentist drunk. I mean no inhibitions, say what you think, find yourself hilarious drunk. Totally tanked. I think the dismay and confusion on his face as I first tell him he's an overpriced hack, flirt with him outrageously, then barf in his spit sink would be priceless. Too bad I have to drive to the dentist, or the drunk thing might be a fun experiment.
Work was interesting today. It rained buckets last night and the rocks came tumbling down. We closed the scenic drive to move the gigantic boulders, and I had to deal with all the disappointed visitors who wished to visit. Not the much fun. One lady did bring in her own pink toilet seat cover with yellow daisies on it. Got a good chuckle over that. As I am not a germaphobe, I love to watch those people who are. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with being concerned about germs, but it certainly makes life more complicated, like, for instance carting your own toilet seat cover around where ever you go.
Gotta go see the dentist and smile while he asks me if I want to pick a toy from the magic treasure chest.
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4 comments:
I had braces as a kid to close the gap in my front top teeth. It worked, but then my wisdom teeth came in and made those same two teeth start to overlap. I can't help but wonder if they would have fixed themselves and spared me all the agony and my mom the bills.
So--was the cover on display or something? Did she just cary it around with her?
I totally want you to do the drunk dentist thing. maybe I'll even fly out there to drive you myself so you can do it.
I too had braces. and then when they were off, I never EVER wore my retainer. they went back to their overlapped selves almost immediately. and now they're kinda straight but I really don't care. I can imagine that my parents do, though, as that kind of coin would mandate.
so do you think I'm weird because I too carry around my own toilet seat? like at the office and in the mall?
just kidding.
Oh Patrice, had me worried there for a second. Yeah I hate dentists. For instance, my dentist first yanked a tooth out of my head. No, well these are your options. No, I think it best if it comes out. Just "You're gonna feel a little pinch" then WHAM. Then as blood is slowly pooling in the back of my throat and my head is throbbing, he says, K here are your options for replacement? Replacement!? Replacement!!?! How about don't pull the fucking thing out in the first place. True it was absolutely dead and turning kinda pink...but I still blame him. Anybody got 2 grand for my new fake tooth??
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